You know you're old when...

(this is old but I thought it's funny anyway - wonder how many I can drum up)

1. 7 eleven workers call you Uncle
2. the white haired tea lady on your floor in the office asks: "Uncle, jiak par buay?"
3. the Cold Storage auntie says: "Uncle, we are closing in 10 mins"
4. you get used to people calling you "Sir"
5. shopkeepers assume you're married with kids
6. you spend 2 evenings in a 4-day workweek sipping martinis at Morton's and munching on steak sandwiches
7. your favourite beverage is now beer instead of soft drinks
8. You would rather go hungry than eat McDonald's
9. You start noticing wrinkles on your hands
10. You carol for 4 hours and feel bushed and beat and knackered after that and want to go home and sleep.
11. you'd rather be at home sleeping and watching the TV than be out at Suntec City jostling the crowds.
12. for a new year's eve celebration, you suggest a quiet gathering at someone's house for dinner and just to hang around and catch up after that, while the host suggests that you bring alcohol meaning wine....oh....the sophistication of it all....
13. you've stopped playing computer games and you have an attention span of 10 minutes.

Sense of Achievement

Today I got to correct an overseas person doing the stuff I do (I don't want to mention what I do - private) for the past donkey years (since before I was born). That's SUPER SENIOR compared to my measly 6 months. After my e-mail responding to his comments to our documents (which I did WITHOUT my boss being around), the fella responded to my boss asking us to disregard all his comments and apologizing for the inconvenience.

Talk about job satisfaction - I love being clever and right and other ppl being not so clever and wrong. Makes my cold heart all tingly....

I think I'm turning Singaporean. This is disgusting. I must go detox by spending a week in Malaysia.

And now after my brief adrenaline rush that made me wanna work another couple of hours I am going to go home to sleep before turning up for work tomorrow to deal with some Greek ppl.

This is fun!

Christmas Part 2

This morning my alarm clock rang and I woke up wondering whether it was Sunday or Monday. "Shit", I sighed, on realising that it was Monday. A word of advice. Drinking alcohol and then passing out does not make for a restful sleep. Did that on Friday and then did that on Sunday. Thank god for the coffee machine in the office upstairs.

Anyhows, such is my dedication to blogging that I have decided to forego my Monday lunch to blog about my Christmas weekend instead.

Presents and cards
First off - presents and cards. Got like presents and cards from lotsa ppl. 2 people gave me cards that said "Have a Very Beery Christmas!" - those exact same words! I am now stereotyped as a drunken beer-bellied tenor. This is bad. But I guess with a blogger title like mine, I'm really asking for it. Let me thank everyone for presents and cards: S C aka Mrs. Wong, DY/Mike aka Kimchi-boy, JH aka I-love-to-conduct-please-give-me-more, YK-aka-I-have-a-Sony-F828, Fatso Lim (& gang), Skunk and Wayne. Loved all of them.

Fatso Lim got me a DVD called "I am Sam". For the record, my name is NOT Sam. I don't know why people INSIST on calling me Sam. I've also watched the show before. It's about a mentally retarded man. Is Fatso implying something...hmm.....For the record, I am also...ahem...ahem....a freaking genius according to the records of Mensa (Have I also mentioned that another endearing quality of mine is how incredibly modest I am?). Although having graduated from the "18th best university in the world" I now feel that my brain cells have deteriorated in no small part due to my fantastic education at yonder fantastic university and I am now very dumb. A recent online test rated my IQ at 20% lower than when I was 17. At this rate by the time I'm 45, my brain would have deteriorated to become pea sized with only 3 centres of thought:

1. I need beer.
2. I need Penang Char Kuay Teow
3. I need sex.

Christmas Carolling
I had a GRRRREAT and enjoyable time carolling. Although at first I couldn't memorize my scores - by yesterday I was sprouting words and notes on automatic mode except for a few songs notably In Dulci Jubilo whereby because my clever president started singing wrong words I also started singing wrong words for 3 seconds until we realised that the front row was singing a completely different set of words whereby we shut up for a further 2 seconds before continuing.

Winter Wonderland and It's Christmas Time was also spent mumbling through half my words. I kept singing "Walking on the Winter Wonderland". Which I'm sure is the grammatically CORRECT version. Since when does one ever walk IN something. That's surely quite stupid as you would be slowed down by frictional forces of the medium in which you are walking. Dumbass composers...

Whereas for It's Christmas Time I invented a new and harmonised ending on the spot. Never mind that my president on my left gave me a glare - it was too late to change.

Giggly and skinny alto was on my right giggling away and making snide comments as usual. Such unprofessionalism....pfft...

Anyhows, carolling reminded me of our time in Germany when we strolled about together from competition venue to competition venue. Ahhh...nostalgia....

I also had my virginal experience carolling at Raffles Hotel on Christmas Day. Wooo that was fun. By the time I had finished Raffles Hotel I was totally knackered (that's my new word of the month - knackered), having carolled for 4 hours.

By Sunday morning I was squeaking away (I am STILL squeaking away).

Parties Galore
Christmas of course would not be complete without parties / gatherings galore of which I attended 3. Am I hip and happening or what? (ok please don't answer that)

Very fun to meet up and be silly with lots of people some of whom I haven't seen in a year or more. Different groups of people catering to different tastes. With VC it's be silly and stuff your face silly on Red Rubies and Banana Fritters from Thai Express. Those monsters can REALLY EAT. With ex-uni-Choir friends it's intellectual conversations reflecting our standing as the 18th best university in the world, most of which is spent condemning the university MUAHHAHAHHAA. Oh yeah, and of course we catch up on what we've been up to. One of them went off to medical school in Canada so we get snippets about life in Montreal. He claims he's holed up in his room throughout winter mugging. Another one usually regales us with tales of her lesbian friends or her "active" friends. This year there were no new tales unfortunately. So boring. Can you please meet up with more lesbians? We spent our time at her house stuffing our face with turkey (which was good), ham and alcohol. And then I semi-passed out in the room while bashing on the keyboard of her IBM notebook which she claims to be extremely durable, although she refused to let me stand/jump on the notebook...pfft....durable my foot.

Miscellaneous 1
As we go into the new year, I have several resolutions, none of which I will probably keep for a period of any longer than 1 month except for those involving food and beer:

1. I am supposed to exercise
2. Meet more new friends
3. Meet up with old friends
4. Improve my singing and self confidence
5. Expand my social life
6. Discover more eateries and beerhouses/pubs
7. Try more new forms of beer
8. Give my vampiric friends a treat. I promised to take Fatso Lim to Brewerkz. Maybe we could do that this week. I need to be REMINDED via SMS...
9. Learn German

Miscellaneous 2
With each new project undertaken by the choir, I see the composition of the group changing. I have grown quite attached to the Germany group, and it's quite sad to see many members leaving for the upcoming projects. Some are going on further studies, and others are just tired and want a break. From my experience, once they have left, they rarely come back, and so I take this opportunity to wish them the best in upcoming endeavours and please come back.

By the time I'm done blogging there'll be nothing left of the working morning either.

By the time everyone's done giving Christmas gifts, the half day will be over.

Oh crap...now a 3rd person has bought me a present. I didn't know I was so popular.

Christmas

It's Christmas eve and I have presents from 2 people which I haven't bought presents for. This is bad. I feel embarrassed and hate Christmas now.

(Sung to the tune of Silent Night)

Silent Office, Quiet Office,
All is calm, all is bright,
Round yon office nothing astirs,
Quiet office I don't wanna work,
Slack away in the office,
Slacking away-ay at work.

Reflections

Yesterday was an early day as I left office at 6.20 pm for carolling. After carolling I went with a couple of friends shopping for Christmas gifts whereupon I learnt the following things:

1. Female make-up accesssories are ridiculously overpriced. $118 for a bloody brush?!?!?!?!? It must be made from the pubic hair of the Yeti in some remote frozen wasteland of Mongolia therefore being rare and therefore being so bloody expensive. It looks like my poster colour brush in Secondary School.

2. When the waterbag breaks, it looks like you pissed all over the floor and then the baby is supposed to pop out asap or it'll become blue and brain damaged. Therefore all the movies which depict women's bags breaking in a cafe is all fake 'cos it doesn't happen in real life. They're supposed to be in the hospital near that time.

My secret pal is going to get lip gloss. I wanted to buy yellow lip gloss 'cos it looked funky but those stick in the muds of my friends thought pinkish was safer. So there we are. It looks like a bottle of nail polish to me.

After I went home I watched this stupid reality show called High School Reunion or something. I kinda identify with that geeky guy who's somewhat a loner lacking social skills. That's me. Around strangers I will shut up. Unless of course I'm roaring drunk in which case it's a completely different story. But that's not the real me.

Yesterday while I was at a client signing I dropped my phone (this old battered up Nokia 8250 which is working remarkably well) and then picked it up. Since it was so battered she remarked "it looks like it's been dropped many times" to which I managed a weak embarrassed smile: "heh...yeah....". I bet she wondered why I don't buy a new phone since we're all supposed to be rich. I happen to like my 8250 so there. It's still the best phone I've ever used. The only feature missing is the ability to delete all my messages at one go. It has the best alarm clock function. When it rings in the morning I grab it and push any button and it'll go on snooze. If I'm a little more awake I can even press a number button corresponding to the number of minutes that I want to snooze. Amazing technology. The newer Nokias don't seem to work as well.

It's Christmas time and I don't feel like working. My team is quite busy and errrr I've been rather slack lately. All of a sudden. I helpfully asked to help on a file today. So I have a new file. I need to exercise my brain.

I think I should get my self a Christmas present. Merry Christmas to me I say. Still considering which digicam to buy.

And I want to go on a holiday. But don't know who I can go with. And where.

Anxiety

It disturbs...no...frightens me that a few of my friends are getting married next year. It frightens me because it reminds me how fast time is passing and how fast we're all growing up. I don't want to grow up. I don't want the responsibilities that come with adulthood. I want to remain a child when all I have to worry about is my next exam and how to finish my computer game.

Sigh....

Oh, we got our bonus yesterday. Yippee. Not a big deal but money's always good.

Balls

On Saturday night my balls got squeezed by some singing friends. It is absolutely amazing how much they can stuff into those bottomless pits of theirs. Having had dinner at 6.30, they stuffed their faces again at 9.30...

I of course being the healthy eater that I am, refused to let the temptation pass mine lips.

Somehow near the end of the year I'm feeling very unmotivated (sp-demotivated?) to work. It's the spirit of Christmas calling. I should be lounging around on my fat ass eating turkey.

I still do not know what to buy mine boss for Christmas. I think I am going to get chocolates. Simple, short, painfree. Don't know what else to get. I really suck at buying presents. Attribute it to my upbringing - we were too poor to buy birthday presents. So it was already a huge plus to get a birthday cake for my birthday. Plus I never got smacked on my birthday so I could usually be as naughty as I wanted. And I used to get mee sua with an egg for breakfast. That's my birthday treat. Plus since my birthday is the same as my mom's, we never had to buy each other presents. My dad never wanted any presents. My brother and sister, also never got any presents. It never seemed like a big deal. I'm sure buying presents to celebrate occassions is not part of Asian culture. When did it become infused into our culture? It's strange and alien to me.

Having said that, I have yet to thank Dawn for buying my an iSock. It's cute as hell. My iPod, in a woolen knit sock with an Apple logo. My Christmas present in a sock. hahaha. cute. All presents should be functional like the sock.

Ok I had really better start doing real work instead of frowning at my desk at my screen while blogging and pretending to be deeply engaged in work.

I'm freezing

It's raining cats and dogs, and I'm freezing in the office. Not even my fats can protect me...

The Slave arriveth...

My boss' new trainee has come in today. I told my boss when I saw her come in: "your slave has arrived..." and she said: "You mean YOUR slave....no wonder you look so happy today..."

Hahahhahahha...ok it's not MY slave it's HER slave. She says I can chew him up if he makes mistakes. But of course I'm WAYYYYY too nice a guy to do such things RIGHT?????

I'm generally in a cheerful mood today even though we're STILL absolutely swamped by work from bankers all rushing to close deals by the end of the year in what I think is probably for bonus-related reasons. Annoyances at work....

Bonus is coming soon....

(sung to the tune of Caroller's medley)

Bonus is coming,
My wallet's getting fat,
Please put some dollars in my piggy bank,
If you haven't got some dollars then some pound sterling will do,
If you haven't got some pound sterling than God help you! God help you!

Of course, the person who stole my phone is going straight to Hell....but tt's another story.

Using back my old 8250 and actually it's a much better phone than the 6220. It works well as a basic phone, the response time is fast, screen clear, and ring tones can be heard a mile away on Loud mode. That's how a phone should be. None of those sissy hello kitty ringtones thank you very much.

I need beer.

I had "Thunder Tea Rice" for lunch. What a fancy name. The soup tastes a bit weird. But it's supposed to be good for health. I better start eating healthy stuff in anticipation of the pig out session I'm sure I'm going to have around Christmas. Oh then there's New Year after that...and then Chinese New Year.

My colleague suggested we ate KFC for lunch. I said "no!!!! I've been eating such rich stuff for the last few days I feel like I'm swimming in lard...". No response. Then change topic....Hmmmmmm.....

Venting my frustration

I am *this close* to screaming at my secretary right now.

If I have to look for another document again I am REALLY going to get pissed. What could POSSIBLY be so difficult about filing????? I did it for 6 months. Been there done that.

Man tits

Yesterday I just saw the most horrific sight while I was at McDonalds for dinner. Yes yes unhealthy blah blah blah I wanted a sundae. One of the counter persons had this set of tits that were just jiggling around. It was so gross that I'm going to have nightmares. When he bends down to get money from the cash machine, his tits would jiggle and move and they looked like 80-year old saggy tits. They were HUGE TITS. I think either:

1. he ate too much mcdonalds
2. his body fat percentage must be at least 60%

I'm going to have nightmares.

Jealous

This e-mail came from my sister yesterday:

"this is a photo of me eating in christchurch hall, the hall where harry
potter dining hall was filmed! they have fresh mustard which tasted
like wasabi, real fireplaces with real charcoal burning in them, and
oil paintings everywhere (as you can see). it's not as big as in the
film coz that was digitally enhanced, but the idea was the same..."

I'm extremely jealous now. When I think of *MY* old hall all I could think of was crap food, crap surroundings, hot as hell. Think I shall fly over to UK next year sometime and have a visit. Maybe when it's warmer.

Intransit bimbotically assumes that I love my iPod mini. It's not true. It's just functional. Fatso's right I think.....the capacity's too small....sobs....I shall have to give it away soon.....Maybe buy a bigger one. 40 Gb iPod???? no money. Who wants to buy me a Christmas present?

I love my iPod Mini

It keeps me sane on the MRT when I'm surrounded by a mass of people. The music forms an invisible barrier as if I'm not actually cramped among all those plebeians.

Temptation

I have succumbed to the lure of the iPod mini.....btw, it's BLUE, not pink. I would NEVER carry a PINK ipod mini.

Jim-boy here won the iPod mini for his design of the MAC-usergroup webpage and I can't remember what the webpage is so too bad. And they have onsold it to me. So now I'm broke and I can't buy my digital camera for Christmas and it's all Jimmy's and Liyann's fault.

It's a blue 4 GB iPod mini. It doesn't do radio unfortunately nor has a voice recorder. But I figure, how often do I use that? Radio maybe...but not voice recorder - I've got a dedicated one in the office anyway which I freaking spent $120 on. Waste of money.

I saw the iRiver one that was going for $688. That was pretty good. It had a line in and microphone in which means that if you pirate recordings in concerts and all that you can plug in a microphone direct and record DIRECTLY into MP3 in a bitrate of your choice ranging from 64 kbps to 320 kbps. That is DEFINITELY an MD killer. I was very tempted to buy it, but it was rather big and at $688 a bit more than what I would like to pay. But I would highly recommend it to people such as Xuhao who was looking for something to record his voice lessons into. I've read reviews that the sound quality is also first rate.

The screen is also colour btw, and it can store jpegs like PROPERLY unlike the crappy iPod Photo.

Anyway, what made me decide on the overpriced iPod mini (yes, it's OVERPRICED in comparison to the iPod) was the fact that if I were to put the ipod in my shirt pocket while I go to work, I would look like an Ah Beng or Phua Chu Kang with those huge organisers in their shirt pockets. I need something less obtrusive. And iPod Mini fits the bill. Plus I guess I don't have THAT many songs, and I don't need to spend THAT much money for a music device.

Dropping dead like flies

I'm really about to drop dead right now.

Thursday:
9.30 am -12.50 pm- reach work.
12.50 pm - eat 10 min lunch
1 pm - start work
7.30 pm - go chorale practice
10 pm - return to work
5.30 am - leave work

Friday
8 am - leave for work
1 pm - 10 min lunch
8 pm - 10 min dinner
12 am - still working.

Ode to Coffee

Oh Coffee, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

Thou transformest this grumpy old man into a 17 year old hyperactive teen.

Thou transformest my brain from a plodding Proton Saga to a turbocharged BMW Z4.

Thou maketh me a superblogger in the morning.

I love thy creamy head that is remniscent of the head on a pint of beer.

Thy soothing aroma as you flow out from that $2500 coffee machine that resides on the 30th floor of my office that calms the nerves and prepares me for the onslaught that is to come during the working day.

Thy slightly bitter aftertaste after your silky and creamy body flows down my throat into my ever expanding and cavernous stomach that Cartman can be proud of.

Thy nerve clogging properties that likely causeth me a heart attack at 30 before I make boss and thereby condemning me to die before I ever get laid.

Ok. The initial surge of 10 mins ago has worn out. Now I don't love thee anymore. Back to work.

Demands

It seems that coincidentally, a LOT of ppl are blogging about Creative's marketing blitz.

Red-rapture has bought a Zen Micro thing at some discounted price. Unfortunately she refuses to reveal the price and worse, she maxed out her lubangs to get the discounted price. Damn.

Anyway, now that so many friends have new TOYS, I shall DEMAND that they all bring it this Saturday so that I may play with them and have my tech thrills vicariously through their purchases.

So, jchrys is to bring his Nikon D70, and red-rapture is to bring her new-fangled Zen toy so that I may ogle at it and play with it. I still think it's ugly as hell though.

I DEMAND DEMAND DEMAND DEMAND DEMAND!!!!!!!

ok ok...*please*????

Am seriously considering going to the Creative sale this weekend. But having done a preliminary search on Google and finding out that the queue last year was 10,000 people and snaked some 1 km and took some 6 hours to get in and that some people queued up 22 hours before the opening, I am now having serious doubts. I hate queuing. Queueing is for plebeians/peasants/serfs/peons. But what to do? I'm a cheapskate and sucker for tech bargains.

This is a sign that I've been staying in Singapore wayyyyyyyy too long.

I am STILL at work.

Ramblings

Fatso keeps asking me to update.

I have found a new love. It's name is...Warhammer 40000: Dawn of War!!!!!

While others eg popartgirl's boyfriend and bimbo alto's boyfriend are busy blasting each other with Halo 2, unfortunately I have neither an XBox nor XBox live! nor broadband. So I'm content blasting Orcs, Eldars and Chaos Marines. I think it's a feeling of power when my missile turrets blast into the middle of an orc swarm and I see them flying all over into the water and then dying. The video cut scenes are really good. It’s true what they say. Power corrupts, and absolute power gives a man an erection. How else do you explain the unexplainable need for men to have sweet young things as mistresses? It’s a power thing that at 40+, they can still dominate sweet young things of 20+. Can you say Vietnam bride?

Creative has launched the Zen Micro and there were some seriously biased reports in the newspaper today the pros of the Creative device. It is launching a US$100million marketing blitz to topple the iPod. I think it’s going to be a huge failure.

1. The device is more expensive than the iPod mini. If you thought the iPod mini was overpriced at $458 when the iPod goes for $579, the bloody Zen Micro goes for $529. Talk about rip off.

2. The device doesn’t do iTunes. I wonder how it syncs music. With iTunes, you update your music list, and your iPod is updated automatically. Which is what draws a lot of customers to iPod. Simplicity and ease of use. If you had to continually manually drag files onto the device it will put people off to have to update 2 playlists at the same time. It doesn’t even do AAC. I know it’s proprietary and all that, but when there’s a market leader, it’s dumb not to at least make your device compatible with it. Can you say…Betamax, Memory Stick and ATRAC3? In place of AAC it supports WMA…I like WMA over MP3 and all, but I doubt WMA is a market standard. It sounds like the DVD-R and DVD+R war all over again.

3. The device is bulkier than the iPod mini.

4. The device offers nothing above the iPod mini nor the iPod save for the voice recorder and FM radio. It should offer a line in and a microphone port and the ability to record directly into a sound format and quality of the user’s choice. Then at least it would attract all the MD users.

5. It doesn’t have the cool and hip factor – it’s ugly.

So I ask, how can you sell something that in some ways doesn’t work as well as the market leader, doesn’t look half as cool as the market leader, is bigger and to top it off, costs MORE???? I don’t get it.

If this product succeeds, then the marketing people deserve a huge bonus.

Sweet Home Malaysia

Ok I'm back at home - long weekend.

The last week at work has been extremely busy. It must be with my move to Tampines. Since I moved, I've worked a couple of hours each weekend. On Tuesday I went home at 2.30 am, packed for my wednesday trip home until 3.30 am, woke up at 5.30 am, and got to work at 6.45 am.

I'm shocked that there are actually a lot of ppl on the MRT at 6.10 am in the morning!!!!!

So anyway I'm now on a well deserved break at home stuffing my face at home while my mom nags in the background that I must have put on 10 kg or something.

oh well.

I want an ipod. I want to sell my pocket pc. It's crap and I never use it. Anyone want a Dell Axim for sale?

Sophistication

I realise I blog about completely inane things. I should act my ahem...age.....and blog about *serious* stuff...like you know....oh about the latest US elections. The impending economic crash in the US. The rise of China. The fall of Iraq. The effect of the raising of the Fed rates on the economic growth in Singapore. Yah. you know, SOPHISTICATED topics.

Problem is, I couldn't give a toss. As far as I'm concerned Bush should've choked on his pretzel when he had the chance.

Hm...I'm never gonna become a witty and sophisticated thinker. When I borrow books I go for the following:

1. Legal thrillers (escapist mar)
2. Medical thrillers
3. Fantasy books that my friends have read in Primary 3 like dragonlance.
4. Comics like X-men and Marvel superheroes (thanks for the comic Fats! "Batman" is freaky...")

And my choice of movies go like this, in the following order of preference:
1. Fantasy/Scifi
2. Bimbo high school shows like Legally Blonde and Harold and Kumar.

This is bad. I need intellectual stimulation. I picked up War and Peace by Tolstoy from the library, read 10 pages on the MRT and fell asleep.

"Would you like some tea m'dear?"
"Oh! Why, how quaint and charming!"
"I say my good man, Napoleon's a right bastard, don't you think?"
"Oh, Nicola, we should go ride on our ponies today....it IS such a fine day, don't you think?"

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Ok. I'm at work. It's 11.30pm. I need a break. Therefore I blog. I've got a TON of work. I swear I wun be able to go home tonight.....

Don't understand parents

Sometimes I dun get parents. Usually, when you want to buy something, they go: "har???? So expensive????? Why can't you just buy the cheapest one????"

I have no digital camera. I want to buy one. My parents are going to my brother's convocation in Melbourne in December. I thought a Panasonic FZ3 would be good - 12x ultra zoom and all. I'm paying btw.

So this conversation takes place this afternoon via telephone:

(I'm paraphrasing)

Mum: Simi?
Me: So should I get a new camera that you can use for (brother's name)'s convo?
Mum: Oh. No need lah we can use his Ixus 330 (this old 2 megapixel camera which takes very good pics)
Me: You need ultra zoom right so that can take pics of the stage
Mum: Huh? Haiyah you better talk to your dad lah I dunno what you're talking about. What brand is it?
Me: Panasonic
Mum: Huh??? They make cameras meh?
Me: er yeah...the lens is Leica...
Mum: Never heard of it..anyway you call back tonight speak to your dad lah.
Me: ok

later on:

Dad via sms: "Pl call back to discuss camera. Why don't you buy the higher end Nikon one I'll pay for it you can use"

Me thinking....hm...digital SLR....sounds good....but so expensive...for what....

I call: "Why you want to get the digital SLR? Expensive you know"
Dad: "But it's good what. Panasonic makes cameras meh?"
Me: "er yah...it's got a Leica lens"
Dad: "Maybe they don't know how to fit the lens properly into the camera"
Me: "errrrr"
Dad: "Is there a higher end one by Nikon / Canon?
Me: "there's one by Canon but the pictures suck."
Dad: "oh ok. What about those that you can change lens one?"
Me: "Digital SLR lah"
Dad: "Yeah"
Me: "Expensive lah."
Dad: "How much is the Panasonic one?"
Me: "$650+"
Dad: "Oh like that is it. Ok that's not very expensive. Oklor just buy and try try."
Me thinking to myself: "huh? try try? gee....that's good advice...."

Digital SLR...hm....I think it's wasted in my untalented hands lah. Requires too much brainpower.

I guess I shall get the Panasonic one then. Now....FZ3 or FZ20..hmmm......

The OC-ish gang

Going out with my colleagues is an expensive affair. I don't really like to do it simply because it costs so much money. Many of them, especially those educated overseas, come from rich backgrounds and would think nothing of, say, spending $1000 or more of their monthly salary on an LV handbag, going for spa treatments at a few hundred bucks a pop and the like. It's not as if we are making a ton of money - our salary after taking into account state deductions amount to about $2800. Although above average, it's not like we're rolling in it. I suppose however that many of them don't have to do the following:

1. pay rent and utilities and food
2. give parents money
3. save for a rainy day (can you say: Trust fund? or Inheritance?)

And if not, I suppose disposable income is high.

This month, 2 of my colleagues are having their birthdays. To "celebrate", one of my other colleagues suggest we go out for dinner. Fine. Dinner where? Oh, at some uppity restaurant in a 5 star hotel. Sigh. It's a lose lose thing. If I don't go, I'm anti social. If I go, it freaking burns a hole in my pocket.

Among other things, we "had to have" lobster noodles. Other stuff were scallops, half a duck and garoupa fish.

I haven't seen the bill yet, but I know it's going to add up to at least $60 a head. There were 5 of us. 2 of them won't be paying 'cos it's their birthday. That means it's going to add up to $100 each. That is VERY expensive in my books for something that will pass through your bowels in 12 hours. Expensive stool that's what I say. And I couldn't jolly well have said "can we order something cheaper or not?!!!?!?!!?!" or "can we go somewhere cheaper?!?!!!!?".

So there we are. I'm a little annoyed at spending money unneccessarily. But it's one of the necessary evils of having wealthy colleagues. Me? I'm happy eating at hawker centres and street food (but I don't like food courts). If I'm in a good mood, a cafe is a good place at 10+ a pop. That's already a treat considering the fact that up till 1994, my family never ate out, and McDonald's was a treat once in a blue moon. It's just not in my blood / upbringing to be spending that kind of money to fill my already cavernous stomach.

Later today we are going to visit the-one-with-the-operated-ankle-who-thought-he-might-die-from-a-tiny-operation-on-his-ankle. I HOPE I dun get dua-ed by the bimbo alto. I think we should be having pizza for dinner. Good stuff.

Best Dinner in a Long While

Today I had just about the best dinner I had in a long long while. My friend managed to drag me to Morton's of Chicago at the Oriental Hotel at City Hall. On weekdays, they have this promotion where you can get a Martini (Chocolate or Cosmopolitan) for $7.50++ and you get complimentary Filet Mignon sandwiches. That's right. Free steak sandwiches.

The service is a bit slow, as it's not meant to be a buffet where you stuff your face on steak sandwiches - unfortunately. So they bring around a tray every 7-10 minutes or so where you take like ONE sandwich. This tiny thing which is about 150% the size of a sushi thing.

Yeah I know, I was like - gee. Steak sandwich. Big deal. Until now the only steak sandwiches I've tried are those at Subway - you know, tough fragments of meat - no big deal at all.

And then I bit into my first sandwich. I thought I died and went to heaven. If you imagine when you eat sushi - very fresh salmon - when you bite into it - how it shreds gently when you tear it away from your mouth. And how the salmon melts in your mouth. That was the texture of the sliver of steak in the sandwich. It was reddish - meaning about medium rare. But it was just about the best piece of beef I have ever eaten in my life.

All in all we managed to get 6 sandwiches within the span of half an hour - not full at all, and right now I'm high on the Martini I drank plus my friend's martini 'cos she can't drink and only went there for the free sandwiches and was there since like 5 pm munching on the delicate delights. But you want to taste it and appreciate it I guess, not stuff your face with it.

That was probably the best $8.50 (including taxes) that I've spent in a long while. Certainly better than the $25 I spent on beer and seafood for yesterday's dinner.

I think my pants are bursting.

Work Work Work

Work Work Work Work Work Work Work Work Work Work Work Work Work Work Work Work
Work Work Work Work
Work Work Work Work
Work Work Work Work

and then....

more work.

I'm tired. I want to get picked up by a lesbian too ala Mr. Miyagi in yesterday's newspaper.

The New Adventures of Glutton-man

Another week comes and passes and I discover the following things:

1. I have voyeurs from IBM on my blog.

2. There are some decent places to eat in Singapore!

3. I really do live in the middle of nowhere!

4. My room is very big.

5. I've been coming to work for 14 days non stop.

All 5 discoveries are boring except no. 2.

Yesterday I gather with a couple of my old choir friends whom I haven't seen for yonks and yonks and yonks. We met at Chomp Chomp which is in the middle of nowhere as well, but had a GREAT time stuffing my face. Let's go through my menu:

1. Chwee Kueh. A big pile of it.
2. Rojak.
3. Satay
4. Stingray
5. Sugar Cane the size of which would rival the big beer mugs in Germany. But it was quite diluted so it wasn't very good.
6. Carrot Cake in 2 styles
7. Porridge
8. BBQ chicken wings
9. Bean Curd

I'm sure I ate other stuff but I can't recall. Anyway all of it was good.

After dinner I could barely move. We popped over to my friend's place in Ang Mo Kio and sang our old Christmas Carols until 12.30 am in the morning. We had 2 basses, me, 3 altos and no sops so Mr. ahem..N Chua doubled up as the descant. It was quite horrible hahahahahhaha. I tried too but that sounded even worse haha. Ok let's stick with tenor yah? So that was a rather fun night out.

What else? My parents are back from visiting my sister in UK. They met with an accident 'cos some punks were driving too fast and rammed them from behind. All my parents suffered was a broken back light and some scratches to the body of the car, but the other car flipped and turned turtle. Think my dad took a picture and I can't wait to see it and post it up. How exciting! must buy 4D.

I guess it was quite fortunate since my parents were driving a cheap compact car - Fiat Punto (what to do? we poor mar....still living in jungles in Malaysia).

I'm also trying to recall more funny childhood stories at the insistence of this insistent cow from IBM who tries to pass off as Lara Croft in Cambodia but ain't got the uhm....assets....for it...

I think I've mentioned the phuq-er phuq-er story, and I-WANT-TO-EAT-FRIED-EGG-STORY, and the I'll-pee-wherever-it's-convenient-to-me-thank-you-very-much-you-stupid-ang-moh story.

I'm good at telling stories. Have I ever mentioned I used to win the gold medal for story-telling competitions (in CHINESE) in primary school? Of course, NOW I wouldn't even be able to understand the story let alone tell it since I'm, to quote Harold from the film "Harold and Kumar" a TWINK!!!! *sobs*...

Maybe today I shall mention how I bribed my teachers in school in England with Fried Rice. Ang mohs suck at cooking rice. Most of my friends in Leeds used to think rice is disgusting. This was 10 years ago so maybe they're more metropolitan now. Their idea of rice is this sticky and gooey concoction which is more like very thick porridge. It's gross.

So on Christmas parties and all my mum would cook Fried rice, being the simplest of all to bring. And my teachers would all go gaga over it - don't think they ate much Chinese food there. I was the only chinese in school after all. So I used to bribe them for better grades by passing them a pot of Fried Rice now and then. I think it's like gold to them. All they ever eat the whole day long is Fish and Chips, Sausage and Chips, pudding, custard and all that crap.

Ok this isn't a very funny story. I'm in the office on a Sunday, what do you expect. And all this talk of food makes me hungry.

Feeling Stupid

That's how I'm feeling right now after speaking to some ang mohs. ARGH I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!!!!!

Night of Blunders

Blunder No. 1:
Colleague: "Is it me or did you gain weight recently?"
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!

Blunder No. 2:
My belt did not go through the whole of my pants. I missed one belt holder. I didn't realise it. Worse thing is after a friend pointed it out, my roommate said: "Isn't it always like that? I thought he just wanted it to be like that"

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM MAJORLY EMBARRASSED.

My New Name

You may all start calling me with my new name - "Fatass". Thought I'd be hardworking today and pop by the gym before indulging in my favourite pasttime again - i.e. work, which is where I am right now. There's a weighing machine there and I went on it and since I don't think it's lying, the only conclusion is that now I'm *really* rolling around the streets of Shenton Way.

Now Fat Kiat is in good company though I have no idea why he's bloody whining about being fat when he's surrounded by obese tenors. Side point: did you know that the name Obelix comes from Obese? I wonder where Asterix came from?

Effective immediately, I am to STOP EATING DESSERTS at Lau Pa Sat after dinner. And no more COOKIES from the pantry at work. And those jogging shoes had better see more wear.

My weekend was a bore. Everyone's having exams. Those who are not having exams, shall we do something next weekend? Let's go for a mooo-vie. Alternatively maybe I should go explore some of Singapore's ... ahem .... sights .... *guffaws*...(what sights?)... someone prove me wrong.

Bimbo Alto no. 2 acted as a dua-ster on Friday and dumped Fat Kiat and me to our own devises. I ended up watching the Manchurian Project which is a complete bore. Silly show. I need to watch something more bimbotic and light hearted.

I feel like buying an Xbox just to play that Xmen Marvel game.

Or maybe I should go get Sims 2 and have an imaginery life. I'd build a house with multiple bedrooms (7) and lock up 1 woman per room (I'll be kind - they can have an attached bathroom) and have amorous relations with one every night.

During the day, the seven of them can clean my house and cook my meals. And mebbe some can rub my aching feet. I wonder how I'm going to pay for all of them.

This is stupid.

My exciting Saturday

It's now 3.45 on a Saturday afternoon. I'm in the office. I'm feeling a little bit grumpy. Then again, I have nothing better to do so I may as well work. Nelson's in the office as well but he's going for coffee with his friend at 4+ so that hardly counts as working.

I didn't want to stay at home 'cos then I'd have to see the stupid landlady who'll for sure have SOMETHING to say. Today she asks her son to tell me to put my sandals outside. Presumably 'cos it'll dirty the inside. I flat out refused and said: "what if it gets stolen?". Luckily there's another space on the shoe rack so I'll put it there instead.

Soon I'm sure she'll say "After showering, could you wash the toilet please?". Or "After brushing your teeth, could you wash the basin?"

It sucks to live with a cleanliness freak. And I'm no slob myself. She probably uses a toothbrush to clean her toilet. She prints labels to stick on her cups. So some cups belong to Eric, some to Edrick, some to Erica (that's her). I must say these are such *imaginative* names. Of course I think now that I accidentally washed one of her plates with the separate sponge that looks like a dish sponge but was actually supposed to be to wash the basin, she'll probably label that plate as mine as well.

Patience my young padawan...they'll be gone in 3 weeks.

ARGH!!!!

My sister's daily dose of mac praising:


"by the way did i tell u i configured the mac mail to
automatically receive my uni mail? that's why i can reply so fast,
because once i get a mail i can see the number pop up on the small icon
on the bottom bar. i think mac is getting cooler and cooler."

YIKES!!!!! STOP!!!!

Habitat Award

As I was walking to the MRT station today from my ye olde abode in Tampines, I walked past a fixture/monument of sorts next to the town council which said:

"World Habitat Award" by HRM Princess Margaret.

I can't remember if it was World Habitat Award or Habitat Award. It's this grey looking thing next to KFC.

And I thought to myself: gee...what on earth is that doing here?

It must be an award for squeezing the MOST NUMBER OF PLEBEIANS INTO A SQUARE FOOT OF SPACE. If you were to observe the walking traffic from above, I think it would look no different from a colony of ants.

Updates

Ok I've moved into my new place in Tampines which I realise is very very far. And now I have no internet. And I'm itching to blog so I've decided to slaughter my sacred cow (MOooooooooo) and blog at work. SO NO SENSITIVE COMMENTS ABOUT MY WORKPLACE NOW.

First things first. I forgot to shave before work. Now I'm a hairy beast. This is bad.

Second: I got an Armani haircut. Only after I got it I realise I don't like it. So now I'm combing my Armani haircut with a side parting. I hope it doesn't look weird. Anything won't be as weird as Donald Trump's combover though. Nvm. It'll grow back in a month. I'm a hairy beast remember?

Third: I can't wait for my landlady to get lost to Japan. Have I mentioned how I know Tampines is very far? Yesterday I took a cab home after working late (charged to a file of course - clients are going to scream). My cab fare is more than $20 including midnight and booking charge!!!! Now THAT is far! On the bright side, I am getting to read more now - reading this book called Tales of Earthsea by Ursula Le Guin. It's good.

Fourth: my landlady has separate sponges for washing the kitchen basin and for washing the plates. I accidentally used the wrong one and she says that plate that I washed will be mine forever.

Fifth: My sister keeps tempting me with her Mac. I think maybe the secret is to go Mac cold turkey then only you can appreciate it. For now though, my PC works fine and it's cheap so I'll keep with it for a while. Everyday she sends an e-mail updating us on her life in some swanky university in England that begins with O where she is already picking up pompous English terms and it has comments like these:

"u know the cool thing about this mail function thing? i can add all ur names in a group style fashion and ur individual names are in cute light blue tabs.."

Oh Mac thou art an evil temptress! I shall resist thy evil temptations!

I think that's all for now. Yikes. It's 9.15 am.

The irony and injustice

I've just found out that my ANNOYING flatmate has found a flat in Kallang (which is infinitely nearer than Tampines) and is renting a room there for $300+ whereas I'm paying freaking $400 a month. AND he gets the WHOLE place to himself 'cos no one stays there. I hope he rots.

The injustice and irony of it all

I have received news that my ANNOYING flatmate has found a BARGAIN for a place to stay which is in KALLANG which is nearer then TAMPINES to town. Apparently he is paying only $300+, and he gets the WHOLE FLAT TO HIMSELF 'cos he is only renting the room. I would be very pissed if the $300+ includes utilities.

Awe-inspiring angmohs

What is it about angmohs that make them able to speak so smoothly and inspire confidence in the eyes of the listener? I don't know. It's a skill that I must learn.

Today I call our correspondent in Dubai to discuss one of our files - he's only a trainee, meaning not even a fully qualified professional yet whereas I am (although over in the UK it takes 2 years to qualify whereas here it's 1/2 year). I couldn't help but admire the fluency with which he spoke the language, and how quickly he was able to respond to oral questions. For me, it's a skill I've yet to master - discussion - since I've never been one who liked to discuss stuff - always preferring the written.

Hrmm...it's a skill I've got to learn. And that lovely British accent - it just sounds so clever. Yeah - accents can make you sound smart or stupid. Ask George Bush!!! HAHAHAAAAA.....

So anyway, point to note, thing to learn.

Brewerkz Online-The Werkz

Brewerkz Online-The Werkz - I think I HAVE TO MAKE A TRIP down to Brewerkz this week....

More interesting growing up stories

I shall blog about how I came to learn a certain bad word that rhymes with puck.

I am 8 years old. On TV is this great cartoon called M.A.S.K. In MASK there is a vehicle called Piranha (which is a split motorbike/side vehicle kind of thing - go check it out: http://www.weaintcool.com/Articles/mask.htm).

Anyway, from the side vehicle it fires out this circular disk of death thingie. Guess what sound it makes when it fires? It goes:

"pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker..." in varying degrees of pitch.

Replace "p" with the correct consonant and you win Wheeeeeeeeel orrrrrrrf FORTUNE!!!!!! (music in background)

So like the naive boy that I was, my neighbour had this toy, and the next time I went over, we played MASK, and then, when I got my hands on Piranha and shot the weapon, I exclaimed loudly:

"pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker...",

much to the absolute horror of his grandma who was within earshot. Couldn't understand what all the fuss was about until I reached secondary school.

It's done

I've signed the lease today. For the next year, I will be staying at Block 401 Tampines Street 41. Hopefully it'll work out right. I had thought that only the sister was gonna be staying there and that I could give leery looks and get rid of her thereby having the whole apartment to myself. Unfortunately, I must have misheard 'cos today the sister shows up with her HUSBAND. HUSBAND?!?!?!!! I thought she was young??? Born in 77, she's only 2 years older than me!!!! Then I realised that I'm freaking 25 years old, not 19. At 27, that's a normal age to get married. And hrm...here I am....

Apprehensive about staying with a married couple for 1 year. They won't be staying there full time though so I guess that's good.

As I type this I feel unsettled. Just as I got comfortable with my daily routine now I have to move and uproot myself all over again to some village in the east of Singapore. Men need roots and need a routine. For example, this is what I *need* to do every morning:

1. Wake up
2. Set the kettle to boil
3. Stuff the bread in the toaster
4. Take the newspaper from outside and start reading it
5. When kettle boils and bread is toasted, make breakfast
6. Eat breakfast while reading newspaper.
7. Get ready for work.

When I get to work, I need to:
1. Check e-mail
2. Put on my tie
3. Get my coffee
4. Bum for 15 minutes
5. Start serving out my serfhood.

Now I'm uprooted!!!! =((((

The "Break-Up" with THAT FLATMATE was rather painless. We've settled all our bills and all just now so we're making a "clean break". At least now I'll know my hangers will be safe.

The new place has no internet and I'm wondering whether I should subscribe. I might now. Maybe reclaim some of the time wasted on the Net doing stuff like BLOGGING to do more useful stuff, like GO LEARN GERMAN which I've been wanting to do since coming back from Bremen.

So anyway, next weekend I start moving some stuff in, and I officially move in on October 15. Welcome me to the God-forsaken part of Singapore!

Things to stop doing

I should STOP DRINKING BEER. Yesterday I drank 1 litre of beer. Today the term Beer Belly came to life while I practically rolled around the office on my round stomach. Tomorrow, I am bloody going to jog.

On another note, tomorrow I sign my lease at Tampines and begin my new life in a strange remote corner of Singapore living alone.

Fun and Games

I've come to the conclusion that going for choir practices on Saturday is fun because all I do for 6 hours or more is be silly and laugh. Oh yeah - and do some singing.

And I just realised that I'm hanging out with people who are younger than my baby sister. Talk about keeping young muhahahahahaha.

I should blog about a social faux pas I made at a business lunch - being my first one as it were. Having done all the fancy introductions, we did the customary name card exchanges and then sat down for lunch and talked.

Not knowing whether to stuff those silly cards in my pocket or what, I decided to do as the Jones's do - since everyone was putting them on the table, fine I put them on the table too - arrange them out nicely.

Then I ordered spaghetti. and there was iced water.

At the end of the session I found that:

1. There was spaghetti sauce on the card of the person I was talking to.

2. There was water splashes on the card of the person next to her whom I was also talking to.

Ok I don't think they didn't see that. So that was majorly embarrassing.

Conclusion: Do not order something saucy at a business lunch, and don't put the business cards too near your food.

New things learnt everyday.

Updates

Haven't really felt like blogging lately - I've been caught up this week with the Da Vinci Code which is a majorly excellent book from my heathen and heretic point of view. The only interesting things that have happened since last week are my trip to Bangkok, first business lunch and then my outing to Wala Walas. I think there was a few other stuff during the week that I thought would be interesting to blog about but I can't remember right now.

1. Trip to BKK.

At the outset I planned to go BKK for 3 things:

a. Eat a LOT of Thai food, street or otherwise ESPECIALLY PAD THAI and GREEN CURRY.
b. Tailor some pants for work and maybe some shirts.
c. Visit the old city of Ayuthaya, which is some ruins which my parents said was nice or something.
d. Buy bimbo alto the "Loreal Double Perfect Whitening Essence" - even the name sounds dubious. I thought I'd never be able to find it.

When I came back, the ONLY thing I managed to do was item D. So I was majorly peeved at a majorly disastrous trip.

My roommate in BKK bailed out on my last minute, leaving me with a room alone. All that the rest of the people in my batch wanted to do, in no particular order was:

i. shop
ii. do their hair
iii. eat shark's fin and bird's nest

of which none particularly interested me. Suffice to say, I was bored in Bangkok. All I did was sleep and have long soaks in the bathtub and watch Star Movies. The first night I conked out at 10 pm, and on the second night, after going hunting for local food around the hotel and eating at a local family run restaurant, drank myself silly on 500 ml of Singha beer, and felt majorly not sober and dragged myself back to the hotel where i had a shower, sat in front of the TV, and by 8.45 pm felt like I was sleepy, lay down on my bed, and conked out by 8.55 pm, only to wake up at 11.55 pm to realise my lights were on, turned them off, and went back to sleep until 9+ am the next morning.

Sample conversation over the 3 days:
"Oh, let's do our hair - you think my hair is nicer with curls or straight? *giggle*"
"I want to go shopping!!!! 4 hours (in the hot blazing sun) at Chatuchak you think enough? heeeeheeeee I dun think so leh!!! heeeeheeehee *giggle*"
"Oh, I don't dare to eat the fruits - my stomach may get upset! Let's eat at xxxxx (insert name of any uppity restaurant) - it's cheap here!"

Sounds like a scene right out of American Pie.

All my money in Thailand was spent at massages - nothing sleazy. Just to pass the time. Walking in town in the afternoon I thought I'd just go sleep at a massage parlour for 2 hours while getting a massage. Having not passed enough time, I asked for a foot massage after the 2 hour massage. Just to pass the time. So that's where all my money went. Also explains sleeping at 9 pm the second day - too loosened up.

So, in conclusion, for holidays, one must go with one's friends who share similar interests and tastes so that one can be bimbo together and have fun.

So that was Bangkok.

2. Business lunch.

Our team had lunch with a team of one of our clients - my first business lunch. The purpose of business lunches is to schmooze with clients and get to know them better so that it makes it easier for them to give you business. I am not good at schmoozing. The people I was seated with didn't share any of my interests nor did we have anything in common to talk about. I think I need practice in making small and perhaps irrelevant talk. Sigh. At least the food was decent. I guess I'm just not used to it.

3. Wala-Walas

Having decided not to work a long Friday night, I decided to scoot off after work early on Friday and go have dinner with some friends - we went to Crystal Jade - I ate liver noodles and some sides. Liver was as usual very good. Sides are a bit ex though. After that decided to join some friends at this place called Wala-Walas - my virginal trip to such places. Boy, the band was good!!! Now I'm inspired to learn drums. Except I got 2 left hands and 2 left feet. Die.

Came out smelling like a chimney.

So this is what people do after work!!! There's a world out there!!!! hahahaha...I should explore the night life.

I think I've got choir at 4 pm. I need a nap. Hopefully I won't be late as usual.

The week gets better

I really should buy 4D. Further to the good happenings on monday and tuesday, yesterday my female boss tells me to go home early and rest.

and then TODAY my male boss tells me that I should go home early.

The week is going well. On Saturday I'm going to Bangkok for firm trip. Life is good.

On the other hands, I realised that when I get off from work early..er...I have nothing to do...work=life. How?? I'm doomed. Although it's fun to watch my bank account increase every month.

Good Days

Fortunately my day has a bittersweet ending.

For 2 days in a row now I have received praise for my work. Yesterday apparently the client, in the course of her conversation with my boss, mentioned that "I am quite impressed with his work".

Wow..what a nice surprise.

Today I'm asked to craft a letter from the borrowers to the bank to provide for a mechanism to pay back the loan in case some stuff doesn't happen. Nobody was even sure how the letter should take form. "Go see if you can knock something up". So I wrack my brains for an hour and came up with a masterpiece which was accepted wholesale with a comment "this is good - very well thought out". And then sent it to clients.

I MUST BUY 4D!!!!

Macs are a piece of junk

Really, I'll never buy another Mac. Once in a lifetime only experiment. The quality control is atrocious. Whoever said Macs were good must be delusional.

The Mac that I bought my sister:

1. HANGS and then promptly refuses to boot up into the OS, citing missing operating system. I haven't encountered this problem since Win 95.

2. Apple support sux. They keep saying it's fine it's fine it's fine. The last time I sent it for repair, the hardware diagnostics said the hard disk was fine but yet it couldn't boot up. Sent it in for repair the people said hard disk had bad sector. FINE IS IT?!?!?!? So they replaced it. But now after 2 weeks the problem recurs. And Apple keeps saying it's fine. They should take some notes from Dell.

3. Yeah. And my OS keeps going missing. Tomorrow my sis is going to the Apple shop and I'm going to give them a piece of my mind via the telephone.

In conclusion, Macs are unreliable and crap. Stay clear. I'm never buying an Apple product again. All that remains is for my sister's Ipod to crash. Then I'll have concrete proof of Apple's crapness.

It's back to PCs for me.

I am pissed off. Don't anyone ever mention the word Mac or Apple to me again.

Les Choristes

Before I sleep I should just mention that everyone should go watch Les Choristes. My stone cold heart was touched when the soloist opened his mouth. And that's a RARE feat mind u. Usually I'll just go ew that sux.

Such purity, such freedom, such ease, such innocence - very pleasing to the ear.

Made a trip all the way to Cineleisure today to buy the CD. There was a sign there that said "Due to overwhelming demand, the soundtrack for Les Choristes is sold out. If you would like to place an order, please leave your name with the attendant here."

And so I placed an order. It's supposed to come next week. I can't wait.

Tampines...

I'm having trouble even spelling the name of the place...

Anyway, today I went to check out this room available for rental which is all the way in the middle of nowhere at Tampines...quite convenient, near the MRT, directly opposite is the library...the place is newly renovated.

Now if only it weren't so...damn....far.....away......I suppose the saving grace is that it's right next to the MRT station.

Wondering if I should take it up. The Landlord has gotten posted to Japan to work for 2 years. They aren't renting the whole place out - just a room - the wife's sis will be staying at the Master bedroom - the other room will just be left empty. Place is quite spacious as HDB flats go.

It's got AIRCON most importantly. Place is also fully furnished. And as Japan uses 110V, they'll leave all their electrical stuff behind which includes a TV, sound system and DVD player..

The sister actually stays with her mom nearby and so I doubt if she'll pop around often. After all....a strange man...a single woman...alone...in a flat....sets tongues wagging. Logically I should get the whole place to myself. Which is good.

Also good is the fact that there are no obligations attached. It's like an extra for them while they're away. No minimum length of rental or anything. I can get lost whenever I want to.

Nice and windy place too.

So the only down points are:
1. No one to share my internet costs with - or should i just unplug from the destructive internet.
2. Might get boring staying alone.
3. FRIGGING FAR AWAY.

hmmmmm tampines....

Ipod Question

Here's a tough one.

Sis's Ipod has 20 GB of space. Sis' Ibook has 30 GB of space but only 13 GB free for ALL data including music.

Qn: How can she get rid of the songs on her Ibook without it being erased on the Ipod but YET still being able to add new songs to the Ipod via synchronisation with Itunes?

In otherwords, sync to add only, never sync to delete songs on Ipod.

ITunes the Usurper

ITunes has TAKEN OVER MY WINDOWS MEDIA PLAYER!!!! WHAT THE.....

I opened an MP3...instead of my trusty old WMP opening the file, ITUNES OPENED IT!!!!!!!! sneaky!!!!

Mac my foot

Macs are easy? Trouble-free? My foot.

Bought my sister's ibook couple of weeks back. Forward 3 weeks, Comex offers couple of hundred dollars off. This is AFTER the Mac refused to boot up and hangs on me. Had bad sector apparently. Tok a week to fix. SLOW....

Sister has brought back Mac to m'sia. Can't get it to setup with the ISP...Apple contact person has no idea say must check with supervisor. Twit. Apparently there's a possibility that there may be a problem with the modem. What a lousy piece of hardware. Should've stuck with IBM.

Bimbo Queen

Had lunch with the Bimbo alto queen today. Here's her bimbotic remark for the day:

Her: "I went for interview at XXX - their office is at Paya Lebar"
Me: "Wah, that's quite far. Won't you miss being in the corporate hub at RFP?"
Her: "Yah man....how?? die lah I'll lose all sense of fashion!!!! Think I better not accept it..."

.....

OTHER people would wonder whether the career opportunities are good, whether they'd fit in blah blah blah...

This one worries that she'll lose her fashion sense...

Hmmmm.....

Official Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle Movie Site

Official Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle Movie Site:

I caught this movie yesterday with some choir scumbags and I must say that this is one of the funniest movies I've watched in ages. The actors take all the typical Asian stereotypes and walks all over them.

The Battleshits scene reminds me of Funny Story No. 4 which took place when I was schooling in the UK at err...a tender age of err..9 years old. Before that I was in a school in M'sia where the classrooms were rather run down. I sat near the side at the back of the classroom of 50 students or so where the doors were open on both sides as were the windows. Ventilation/circulation of fresh air was good. As a result at 7-9 years old you are not bound by social restrictions. As and when I felt like it I would just fart whenever I pleased. The people around me would all go "EWWWWWW you farted" in mandarin but shortly after we'd all giggle it off until the teacher stares at us with her menacing cane. So in school it wasn't much of an unacceptable behaviour.

Fast forward to 9 years old. I'm stuck in a British school. It's cold outside. We're in a heated classroom - there's no fan. Circulation is nearly zero. I feel a fart coming. Big deal. I let loose. It was one of those silent killer farts. Ahhhhh..relief.

Fast forward 10 seconds. The 2 students behind me go: "DID YOU FART?!?!?!!?!" and had a pained expressed on their faces and covered up their noses as if they were attacked by a round of Anthrax.

I think I did that a few times before I got the hint that it was NOT cool to fart in class.

And then there was the time I was too lazy to go to the toilet and peed on the grass...that's a story for another time. Suffice to say someone spotted me - the angmohs must have thought these damn chinks were all barbarians.

End of Funny Story 4.

Some memorable lines/scenes:

At the hospital:
Kumar: "Oh Dad come on!"
Kumar's Dad: "Daddy's not coming on anything!"

When Harold and Kumar steals the angmohs' car:
Kumar (in his Indian melodic accent), and sticks his finger up at the angmohs: "Thank yoo, come again!"

At the East Asian gathering at Princeton:
The geeky guy raising his hands to ask questions reminds me of me hahaha: "This is a two part question: (1) Is it difficult to be selected as an intern in [fancy Investment Bank]? and (2) can you help write me a recommendation?" - if I were living in the US I bet that would've been me.

Freak Show's wife is HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOT

At the end:
"Police have released what they believed to be very accurate sketches of the two men who broke out of prison last night"
Picture flashes - chinese man with slitty eyes and big conical hat and indian man with a turban

Kumar dreaming of life being married to a packet of Weed..."You can't even make a cup of coffee you fucking WHORE!!!!" hahahahahahaa

Ok that's it for now. Next movie to watch - the Choir Boys.

Fat Brat

In the spirit of sharing inspiring stories for the soul, I shall share a story that I heard from a person who lives in an exotic country in the far east where people are rumoured to live on trees.

There was once an evil fat brat whose name I do not know, but I know it wasn't Sam, who was a brat. At his house lived a maid who was about 18.

The brat, who used to attend a Chinese medium primary school where everything was taught in chinese and English was not learnt till primary 3 and Malay not till primary 2, was overloaded with homework and asked his maid to do it for him. This was only the annoying writing of the Chinese characters. Nothing too difficult for the 18-year old lah. Anyway she got it done but the brat got a C+ for it instead of his usual A so he stopped making her write for him.

The second time he asked, she refused. The brat demanded that she do it. She said in chinese: "What you gonna do? Cane me?" and went to get a cane and passed it to him. Being the brat that he was, he smacked her with the cane. I'm sure at 8 years old it wouldn't hurt. But like I said, he's a brat.

Anyway, seeing as how her lousy writing cost him his As, he never asked her to write his chinese writing again.

End of Story 1.

The fat brat also liked eggs. At one point in time he demanded a fried egg with every meal, if not 2 eggs. So that was about 3-4 eggs a day. One time he demanded eggs from his mother. His mother refused. The fat brat took 2 raw eggs out of the fridge and stood at the kitchen doorway and screamed: "IF YOU DON'T FRY ME THE EGGS I'M GOING TO DROP THEM ON THE FLOOR!!!!"

His mom said: "Fine". And he dropped them and created a mess. And got a massive whacking from his mom. Oops.

End of Story 2.

The fat brat was also very competitive in school even at a young age. At 7 he had his first ting1 xie3 and he got 100%. So that was all fine and good. On the third test, one of the words the teacher asked the class to write for the test was qiu2 (ball). And he forgot how to write it. WHAT A CATASTROPHE!!!!!

So he walked up to the teacher's table while the teacher stared at him wondering what the f*** he was doing, and he asked the teacher in chinese: "Teacher, how do I write qiu2?". The teacher was flabbergasted and said it was a test!!!! and refused to tell him. He got annoyed and went back to his seat but on the way peeked at someone's answers and almost got caught by the teacher but not quite. Feeling quite pleased with himself he wrote the word. Half correct. And got zero for that word. He tried to argue with the teacher that as it was half correctly written, he should get half a mark. Of course the teacher refused. Brat sulked. He got 85% for that test. He was extremely annoyed.

End of Story 3

Such funny stories, no?

Equilibrium

Today I thought I felt extra fat. So I thought I'd go running after work. Being the conscientious sportsman that I am (*guffaws*), I popped to ye old treadmill at ye old gym near work which ended at 10.30 pm, and made myself run like a hamster on heat on the treadmill for 5.5 km.

Having done that, I felt starved. On reaching home, I promptly ate: 1/4 a ultra-rich-sugar-is-free mooncake, followed by an equally ultra-rich-mini mars bar and then half a cup of I'm-full-of-sugar-yoghurt. Now I feel content.

Equilibrium.

Ipod

Hrm...I'm starting to REALLY like my sister's ipod....how??? I think I should buy one...but not now lah....sigh...should I just look for a 2nd hand one

Really hectic 2 weeks

Gosh...almost died...

This week my sleeping hours have been like 2+ 3+ 4+ 5+ am. For two days I was typing stuff in the office..and then realised...hey I dozed off while typing...gosh..what was that I'm typing....

"The Company hereby covenants to eat cheesecake..." or something to that effect...

?????????

errmm....

So I'm not up to blogging.

One of my superiors remarked yesterday: "You realise that if you have a girlfriend you'll soon not have one, and if you don't have one...then you're never gonna get one"

Oops.

Bimbotic lunch

Forgot to mention. Had lunch with one of the bimbotic altos today....FINALLY....and we were *intellectual* throughout lunch. Who says I'm a dimbo?

Let's see. Among topics discussed:

1. Whether I should get a financial planner.
2. What I do for work and what it involves.

Can't remember the rest.

Anyway, as if in response to my lunch conversation, I received an unsolicited call from a "Certified Financial Planner" in the afternoon. Wanted to sell me insurance. Here's where I displayed my first ever multitasking skills on the phone:

"Hi, is that [my name]? My name is Soloman (wtf kind of name is that????) and I'm a certified financial planner."

*pause* - begin ignoring him.

"blah blah blah. Would you have time for a meeting where I could take some time to explain how I can help you make your money grow?"

[thinking to myself: my hourly worth is $240 and you want me to use my productive time listening to your rubbish?]

"I'm rather busy. Why don't you do it over the phone?"
"It'll take almost half an hour!"
"mm hmm [start doing my draft e-mails to clients and grunt while he talks]"

finally:
"Oh ok. Well I'm not really contemplating buying any such products right now. If I do I'll be sure to keep you in mind."
"[my name], maybe I could get your e-mail and drop you a note?"
"Yes, why don't you do that then? my e-mail address is xxxxx"
"ok I will. Did you receive the e-mail I sent you last week?"
"which e-mail is that? no I haven't"
"it's ok I'll drop you one again." [in truth I deleted it].

Ok anyway go away you vultures. There is no way I'm giving away my money to a complete stranger. Do I look like I'm rolling in it anyway???

Durians

should....stop....stuffing...my...face......with....durians......must....stop....eating....durians......

After eating durians I'm going to bed. As usual when I'm sleeping on a full stomach I'll get nightmares. The Durian Monster will probably be chasing me. It'll be that durian that i'm not eating 'cos it doesn't taste good and it's going into the bin and back to haunt me as a Durian Monster.

Blogging pressures

People keep pestering me to blog. Fine I'll blog but it's not going to be nice. I shall relate a funny incident I told J and LY yesterday in the car.

How do you spell hard disk? is it hard disk? or hard disc? I couldn't decide.

So anyway, you know how it is when you msn/icq you just type very fast and then press enter.

So my HDD has bad sectors one day in year 2 of uni. And I'm complaining to my friend. I think it was a girl. I couldn't decide whether I should spell it with a k or a c. And so the message went out like this:

"Dielah...I got a problem with my hard dick...how????"

awkward pause.

OOOOOOOOOOOPSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Ok that was embarrassing.

Singapore Idol?

Just watched Singapore Idol and I must say I'm really not very impressed at all. Sigh. Is this the state of Singapore talent?

The best among all the contestants wasn't even a contestant - it was Gurmit Singh with his rendition of whatever that song was at the end of the show....what a disappointment....luckily I had durians to make up for the disappointment.

Official Dimbo Status

Ok it's confirmed. I'm a dimbo.

Today I went to get my sister's iBook and iPod...bought already and came home to play with it. The reasons I decided my sis should get an iBook over a pclaptop were as follows:

1. I've heard it's more stable than Windows. No way of verifying since I've never used it.
2. It's good looking.
3. The dock bar is cute.
4. The BOUNCING ICONS ARE CUTER!!!!!!

Factor 4 did us in.

So brought it home and tried it out. Pretty easy to set up out of the box. I plugged in my network cable and I got online. 45 seconds. One point for the mac.

Then I tried it out. And now it's too cute for me to ignore. HOW CAN I RESIST THE BOUNCING ICONS EVERYTIME I GET AN ICQ/MSN MESSAGE??????

That machine is a piece of pure evil. Bad Bad Bad.

But then, as jim says, sex is evil too. But yet so good....how he knows, I can only speculate....

Sundays

It's a bright Sunday afternoon. I'm rotting at home wondering what to do. I'm too lazy to get my ass out. Just *maybe* I should go get some exercise. Maybe I should go back to sleep until the fireworks outing followed by a possible barbeque at my friend's place. Tomorrow's a holiday! Every week should have a 3 day break.

I should have Sunday hobbies that go beyond sleeping. Maybe it's time to get a car so that I have more impetus to go out more. Tried golf for a while but it bored me. Too rich for my blood. I'm a simple man. Just gimme my BMW and my tech toys and I'm happy. Simple tastes huh? A subdued shade of red for my BMW 325i convertible or an ash grey one. I'm turning into an Ah Pek already.

Checked my Yahoo accout after a month or so. And had a flurry of e-mails from my ex jc classmates. Some strange names I've never heard of in my life. Suddenly someone's a Hazel and another's an Andrew and what not. It's weird. I'm just Yin Chuin thank you very much. Can't pronounce it/remember it? That's your problem, not mine. That reminds me. I'm supposed to e-mail my friend something - she wants to change her name for what we suspect is so that she can put it on her stewardess tag. "Hi, my name is Felicia Bonkalot. Here, it's written on my name tag. Bonkalot is my last name and Bonking is my speciality". haha. ok now if only I can find it...

Day of Shocks

What a difference a mere two weeks makes...

Finally got to see all the choir scums again after we came back from Germany 2 weeks ago. Was quite looking forward to it - ok ok fine I missed all of them I admit it...

Came the AGM - ppl tried to arrow me for President...luckily I managed to siam...cannot lah...if came an important project for the choir and then one for work...there's no way I can even take a call or respond to anything during the day. Just 3 days ago I worked straight non stop from 9.30 am until 7.30 pm before i could eat the lunch which I had to get my secretary to pack for me. And the day after that when I went for the signing it was only because I was out of the office at Suntec to get the signatures that I went to grab a bite at 4+ before going back to the office. Talk about hectic.

So anyway they arrowed Jimmy to be President...phew...luckily he's coming back. No more solos for me again phew!!!! But I dun mind helping out lah...DOESN'T MEAN I DUN LOVE THE CHOIR OK????

Anyway second shock: the ex President is getting married!!!! She's like...er..my age....gosh.

AND THEN THE 3RD SHOCK: TWO OF MY CHOIR BLOGGERS ARE TOGETHER!!!!! Almost passed out in shock. No wonder one of them was brooding all the way from Bremen then Hamburg then Singapore. Brood brood brood. At the risk of offending them (but I'm going to do it anyway AHAAHAHAAHA), I imagine the exchange 2 weeks later went something like this - I shall call them A and B:

A: Ah B! I really missed you leh these few days when you were in Paris.
B: Sialah...you siao ah? I slap you!
A: Wah *pengz* I serious leh!!! I was brooding on the bus all the way to Hamburg that morning you guys left... the whole morning I didn't open my mouth at all on the bus!!! Just staring out of the window, watching the cows go by..and when we reached hamburg...watching the ships go by...with a glazed look on my eyes...I DIDN'T EVEN PLAY WITH MY NIKON 4500 OR TAKE PICTURES THE WHOLE TRIP back!!! [at this point applies some jiajia skills]
B: *speechless* - u didn't? *melts*
A: Ah B! I like you a lot....will you be my girlfriend?
B: *still melting*...okie!!!! *and then gives bimbotic smile*
A: Ah B! You complete me!!!

and then they hold hands and the sun sets and then they look at Paris pictures together.

Wah I can be movie director liao!

Oklah. Just joking yeah? dun get mad. I buy you beer.

Listening to the other vic choir now...wah they really deserve to get better marks lor...their performance at their peak is quite stunning....so clean.....we definitely lose to them in terms of cleanliness lah. don't talk bout vocal production...just cleanliness and togetherness - they definitely deserved to get better marks. we weren't as neat even with less people. Still, we did quite well lah. But can be better. Oh well, next time.

Post Signing

Right. Signing came and went. With the pressure to complete so that we won't hold up the chain of sequential events ending in another country, it's rush rush rush.

Think I broke most of those silly card rules. Again. Mostly 'cos I had already researched who I was meeting today. Went around to 3 places meeting all those big shots. At one of them this really senior guy gives me his card, I give him mine. Since I already knew his identity I took it and reflexively stuffed it aside somewhere without even giving it a glance. Oops. Start getting documents ready for him to sign. Then I noticed he's looking at my card. Oops. Oh well. I'm junior, what can I say. Then later I realise his card I put on the table. Phew. At least I didn't just stuff it into my shirt pocket after getting it.

Then errr...did the same thing the other place. That guy was even MORE senior. Silly business cards.

On the small talk point. Right. Couldn't do that either. I'm a guy - I can't multitask. Either I'm preparing the documents and keeping track in my head that all the docs have been signed, at the right places (you'd be surprised how many of them just sign like...wherever, even when you write an "X PLEASE SIGN HERE" where he's supposed to sign. So I'm keeping count, flipping pages, observing protocol, and vaguely aware that there's some chatter in the background. Don't know what that was about. Vaguely remember that there was a conversation on speakerphone that I should've listened to. Nope. didn't hear that either. It's sign, sign, sign.

Incidentally, the first place it was like all the women talking. talk talk talk that's all they do. and then some. blah blah blah blah my husband this my son that my children's school this and that and it's not good to get lasik when u got high degree so that if you get caught in bed with another man u just say u were as blind as a bat and didn't know who it was. blah blah blah. u get the idea. I suspect this is why you rarely see women chewing gum on TV. They can't talk and chew gum at the same time so the gum's gotta go.

Comparatively, at the second place we got it down to an art form. We sit in an arc. I chop the person's name. Pass to him. He signs, passes to next guy, next guy signs, returns to me. Circle of flow. For 20 mins I don't think a word was spoken. It was sign sign sign. Know why? 'cos it was all guys. We were CONCENTRATING.

I'm rambling. again. Toodles.

Business Etiquette Buffoon

I think I'm a business etiquette buffoon. I seem to know nothing very little about how the business world works. Starting in about 7 hours (if all goes well), I will be attending a signing meeting on my own for the first time - my virginal experience as it were. Before I qualified, I couldn't care less. Now that I am qualified, every contact with the world outside the company means that I will represent the face of the company to the outside world. What on earth will I say to them? I can't jolly well just bring those documents there and say: "Nah, please sign ok?". No, business protocol dictates that I must make small talk and niceties first (more on that later). Along comes a few issues:

1. When on earth do I give out business cards??? I mean, like...where on earth are you supposed to learn these things? Certainly my parents never taught me, though I suppose if I asked my dad he'd gimme a long lecture half of which I don't really want to hear. Mom just stays in the office and deals with other esoteric people in academia so that's not really a good representation of the business world either. Some website says:

1. visitors should give cards first
2. never stuff a card in your pocket
3. never give a less-than-perfect card
4. never write on the card

OK, I think I've violated all 4 rules before. Oops.

I also wonder if we should give business cards to everyone we meet. It feels awkward. I suppose it's a matter of getting used to. If the person is very senior? What do I do? One of the people I'm meeting tomorrow will be the deputy managing director of a foreign bank, the other the head of credit and marketing. To me, giving them a card is like the Pizza Hut delivery guy giving you his card when he delivers pizza - it seems unsolicited. Feels weird.

All those niceties aside, then comes the small talk. Like err what on earth should I say when I know next to nothing about the industry? To take an analogy from IT, suppose we are in IT sales, and I go "WOW!! isn't it amazing? They will release an integrated phone and PDA with VGA screen, Wifi and Bluetooth, and word has it that Blackberry will license its push e-mail technology to the company! Can you imagine the limitless possibilies???". Hands up how many of you are thinking: "huh??? who gives a f***?". Precisely the point: how does one plug into the language of business?

OK i'm very sleepy will continue tomorrow.

Time oh time

Red Rapture: "all the magazines and experts say exercise makes you stronger and you'll
get more energy for more work. but how do you break out of the cycle to
even muster up enough strength to exercise in the first place? maybe if
i subscribe to Shape magazine, i'll find out how to get the elixir of
energy! and anyway i love US Shape, it's affordable and has great ideas
for keeping fit, i think."

How true. I swear I'm going to fall into the "Obese" category again soon at this rate. How on earth is one supposed to exercise when:

1. One sleeps only 6 hours a day or less during weekdays, making one very grumpy.
2. During the weekend all one wants to do is sleep.

Let's not even talk about how the matriach is going on and on and on and on (there's a song on this by Budak Pantai - something bout Titanic) 'bout seeing me get married with kids so that she can lie on her deathbed and die with no worries. Totally morbid form of emotional blackmail I swear.

Clarification

To clarify: I ain't buying the Ibook. Only the Ipod. My parents are buying the Ibook. I'm just a poor Malaysian. We still live on trees in the jungle yeah?

Exhausting weekend

Just packed off my parents at 5 pm and then dropped dead on my bed and slept till now. What a tiring weekend!

It started on Friday when they came down. At 10+ I was still at work since the workload at the office has positively EXPLODED at the moment and I have like 5 million and 1 things to do. My mom said in jest that if I didn't go home I could "stop calling her mom", to which I said "you want me to be fired?" and she retorted "yeah. better to be fired. Then you can go back home to M'sia"...

So anyway, packed up and brought a ton of work home. Weighed a ton. And did none of it. Will start after this. On Saturday they popped over and I went with my Sister to the Apple Centre at Orchard. She is now about to be an Apple Convert - she wants an Ibook + Ipod mini. I have to say that the Ibook entry model (12 inch screen) looks like pretty good value at $2k with a DVD/CD-Writer Combo drive. The battery life's a plus of course at 5 hours. Good for when u're stuck in some remote corner of the library. If you buy both now you get $350 off the Ipod under the educational scheme...which makes the whole package quite attractive. So I think I'll place an order for that sometime this coming week. Hope they'll accept my matric card...me: "Can I help it if I'm stupid and take 6 years to graduate?".

Reason I'm recommending her the Apple is 'cos Jimmy says it doesn't crash. And the last thing I want is for my sis to be calling me all the way from the UK bugging me on Tech Support. It had better be crash proof and dummy proof. I can't count the number of times I've received calls that go: "Eh, my Windows can't boot up. HOW????". It seems everyone has Windows problems except me. I'm a satisfied PC user..for now....those bouncing icons on OS X almost did me in. Sister thinks they're adorable...girls...bimbos...same reason she wants Ipod mini over Ipod 4G...pretty and small and chio....girls....

Yeah I spent the weekend while they were over fixing up my computer from home. Win98 crashed and died...what else is new...so I installed WinXP, downloaded Service Pack 1, did a ton of Windows Updates, installed Office, Norton Antivirus, and then did a Ghost Image of the whole drive and burnt it to 3 Bootable CDs so that restoration in the future would be a cinch. With Windows, it's only a matter of when...

I feel like eating durians right now...

Affirmation and Recognition for the choir?

at 1.15 am I'm getting out of the office. Boss offers to gimme a ride home. As we walk out Boss sez: "You guys were in the newspaper the other day? Wow, 4th huh? That's really good!". Even asked which one we were - VC or VJCC - so Boss actually read it!

Big grin from me. So people do read that tiny section...even though that Cow from ST refused to write a bigger column.

Penis Envy?

I am in bed this morning and in my dream I'm a big black man (???) in bed (I don't recall doing anything naughty!!!) somewhere in Canada (???) with a nubile young nymphomaniac who just can't seem to get enough. I vaguely recall exclaiming: "AGAIN????" - where on earth do these images come from??? A case of penis envy??? Can't be right?

The bloody alarm clock rings and I'm wondering why on earth it's ringing on a Saturday morning. I shut it and go back to sleep. The Nympho doesn't return. 5 mins later it strikes me - it's a bloody Tuesday - argh! bollocks to me!

4 pm: I get work due to be sent out tomorrow night.

2 am: I am barely 1/2 way. Too bad - my brain's not working. Mildly annoyed.

I'm being defamed   Curses to the skinny bimbo in alto. I am so going to sue...

He-who-I-want-to-arrow-as-tenor-SL-so-that-I-can-slack-not-that-I-did-anything-except-take-attendance decides to do Herbal Tea translations. Whoopee!!!! 

Scatterbrain Part Deux

I am really annoyed.

8.30 am: Think to myself: shall lock the door to prevent nasty flatmate from entering and using my stuff. Reminder to self: must bring my key to my room out yeah? It's the only key I have. Wouldn't it be funny if I locked myself out? Harharharhar...then I can pick the lock like James Bond.

8.35 am: go to work.

11.20 pm: return from work. go to room. Hand to the door knob. Hey it's locked. Why ah? I don't remember locking it. Jiggle jiggle. Craps. Ok let's get my key. Open wallet. Fish around. That's strange...doesn't...seem...to..be...there....Fish more. Empty wallet...

WHERE'S MY FAAAARKING KEYYYYYY?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!!!?!?!!!

Shit. Panic. Try the James Bond thing with a cardboard. Obviously doesn't work. Try to force a screw driver into the lockhole. Doesn't work either. Fark. Contemplate kicking the door down.

Nice flatmate suggests climbing in through the window. Looks high:

|
side window
|
|----room window-----

We have no rope. No ladder. 5% chance he'll drop down 4 storeys and maim himself. He does it anyway. Visions of him falling down 4 storeys and killing himself flash past my eyes. Urgh. His parents will kill me. He gets in the window. Phewwwww.......Door opens.

It's true, adults get more stupid as they grow older. Case in point. This is from someone who could derive an approximation of the potential energy of a planet of diameter x created from dust particles coming together from an infinite distance away. At 19 years old. Now I'm plain stupid. Urgh.

Moving on

Flatmate just told me that he's moving out sometime next year to stay with his gf. That means I gotta move out too. Ain't staying with the other twit of a flatmate tt's for sure. Timeline we're looking at is between March - May next year. Crap...I don't think I got any flatmates to move out with...so...I gotta stay alone? =S...although having more space would be fun...but having an empty house to return to every day would be quite depressing for sure. Everyone's moving on...we're all growing up....I MISS MY TRANSFORMERS!!!!

Orchard Road

is a nightmare on weekends. I went out with the best of intentions for the day - meet friends, go Apple store check out the Ipods/iBooks, go Borders, maybe buy CDs....

Managed the friends part, managed Apple Store...after that jostling through the crowds just killed any interest left in buying anything. Went to the Library@Orchard borrowed some books, ate ice cream, and headed home. At this rate I'm going to be a multi milionaire soon since I don't spend any money. Perhaps it's time to buy a car.

My friend says she wants to join SDU to meet people. Eligible men who aren't taken. Hey that's me. Maybe *I* should join SDU. Someone has taken to whining to me about work. *Shudder*...go...away...don't whine...

Oh. and I'm seriously contemplating getting my sis an Apple and mebbe my family an Apple too. Why? 'cos of conversations like today:

"Hey, the home computer doesn't work! I boot up and I just get "Internet Explorer has performed an illegal operation". Terminate?" and when you click yes, the Screen just blanks out. HOWWWW???"

Err..how am I supposed to do tech support over the phone?!??!! Maybe it's time for a Mac. If only I were more familiar with Macs. My sister is going to university soon and needs a laptop. The IBook looks quite tempting and rather cheap as well. The last thing I want is for my sis to be calling me from UK asking me computer problems. It's very annoying.

Scatterbrain

Ok decided to give in to exhibitionist temptation again, in part due to persistent persuasion from this alto cow from choir heh. (For the record I'm not a sop-whore grrrr).

So my address - about sums up my social life for now. Pretty cool no?

Right. First posting to describe this crappy week. On Thursday my friend and I decide to go watch a movie - IRobot. We get tickets. The counter girl gives us tickets and some Taeguki brochures. I thought the brochure was crappy. Into the dustbin it went. We check out the DVD store. 10 mins before the movie I go: "eh, F, the tickets are with u rite?". He goes: "uhm...no...". I go: "HUH?!!?!?!" - apply brain...shit. it must be in the dustbin together with tickets. Panic. I go to the dustbin and rummage. Ultra embarrasing. Attract stares. I dun care I want my tickets. Can't find. Panic. Go back to the counter - apply charms: "Hi, you remember me? I bought my tickets about 15 minutes ago...I seem to have lost them...is there anything you can do? *smile*"....She goes: "hang on...". Cut the story short, we got to go in, albeit 15 mins late. F a little miffed. At least we didn't have to pay twice.

Come Saturday. Orthodontist appointment at JB at 9.30 am. I wake up at 8.30 am - it's raining cats and dogs. Shit I'm late but nvm they won't care. Have the whole day all planned out from morning to night on what I'm going to do for the day. Leave house at 9 am. I'm late but nvm they wun bother. Fast forward 9.20 am: I'm sitting at Somerset MRT waiting for the train. A thought occurs - "Where's my passport?".

FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!

That spoilt my whole morning. And the rest of my day's plans went down the drain 'cos my routine has been disturbed. Came back read papers, slept 12.30 pm - 3.30 pm.

Went out with some friends for dinner. One passes me Season 3 of 24...GREAT!! entertainment!!! We go over to my hall-neighbour's crummy apartment. I put the stuff down. Personal reminder: "REMEMBER TO BRING IT HOME LATER!!!!". We hang out there. 10.35 pm - it's time to go. Personal reminder: "Ok, DON'T FORGET TO BRING HOME the stuff yeah?". Personal response: "dun be stupid lah how can you forget".

10.45 pm - host gives me a lift home on his motorbike - scary man. Beat up junk. I reach home...hrm...something's missing.....

FARKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK WHERE'S MY PLASTIC BAG!??!?!!?!

So no entertainment for me. I'm bored. J and LY keep trying to set me up with other singles. And that other bimbo D also.