I hate Vista. Why is it so complicated? I'm trying to troubleshoot my mother's computer, but it asks so many stupid questions. Why can't it just plug and play.

Die Microsoft, die.

"I should buy shorter shorts for the squats"

"Don't buy them yet, you're going to lose weight and will need smaller ones."

That plus the fact that he eats realistic food (cai peng) for his
meals means that my new liposuction doctor has instantly won my
approval.

Spam mail - heh

Giggles...

From:Me

To: 'sulakfamily01@gmail.com' <sulakfamily01@gmail.com>
Sent: 
Subject: Re: From Mrs.Sulak

Dear Mrs Sulak,

Thank you for your email. Yes, please transfer all the money to me. I am now on the brink of bankruptcy having invested my life savings in failed and failing US banks, and your offer is as such very timely.

I am praying for your well being day and night with all my heart even though I am non-Christian and believe that the gods surround us in the plentiful coconut trees that grow with abundance in the wonderful tropics that is Singapore.

After recapitalising my finances, I shall ensure that all the balance money goes towards helping the less fortunate by planting coconut trees all over the island.

The trees will provide blessed shelter to all the unfortunate homeless elves and pixies that live in Singapore. They will congregate around the new gods that will grow from these coconut trees, and enhance the nightlife in Singapore by encouraging ritual dance around said coconut trees.

At the same time, the fruit of the gods; the elixir of life that is coconut juice, will feed and nourish we poor people, and all the future generations that will inherit this blessed land, thanks to your donation.

May you and your late husband, rest in blessed peace for your kind intentions.

I look forward to hearing from you.

----- Original Message -----
From: SulakFamily SulakFamily <susulak1@atlas.cz>
Sent: Thu Mar 05 19:36:29 2009
Subject: From Mrs.Sulak

From Mrs.Sulak

I am the above named person, now undergoing medical treatment. I was married to late Engr M.N Sulak who worked With the Embassy for Nine years.

We were married for eleven years without a child. My late husband Engr M.N Saluk died on the 24th of April 2006 after a brief illness that lasted for only four Days. I decided not to re-marry or get a Child outside my matrimonial home, because as a good Christian my religion is agents it says the Bible and I lived a happy and good Christian life with my late husband.

When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $22 Million (Twenty Two Million America Dollars) with one Finance house Presently in London.

I have been in the hospital for eight months suffering from cancer. The 1st surgery operation has been conducted and I still have the pains in me crying every day and night looking up to God to save cure me and save my life

Recently my Doctor told me that I may die any time any day because of my cancer sickness.

Having known my condition I decided to donate the $22 Million (Twenty Two Million America Dollars) my late husband deposited with a finance house in London to you a good organization that will utilize this fund very well by helping the less privilege. Like to the orphanages, Old people, homeless. I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this Fund.

I want you to always pray for me as I have no life again says my doctor. It will be my please to receive your good response and I will contact or direct you to my late husband attorney that will help you to secure this $22 Million (Twenty Two Million America Dollars) and I want you to assure me that you will use this $22 Million (Twenty Two Million America Dollars) to help the less privilege .

Am waiting for your respond. Please your responding to this mail, email me at mrssulak@gmail.com

God bless you and your good family

Mrs. Sulak

mrssulak@gmail.com

How can my jeans size be 6 inches larger than this guy standing in
front of me on the bus. Wahlau. Note to self: do not buy Levi's if
fat.

Audi R8

There's an Audi R8 in my apartment parking. It is a beauuuutttt!

But I'm wondering which idiot is stupid enough to pay for a car which
costs half what the apartment costs.

Dammit I gained like 1.5 kg since Friday. It's all that eating over the weekend. NO MORE SUPPERS WITH CHORALE.

I imagine that getting into wine is like getting into a relationship. It demands constant attention. It could demand patience, like red Burgundy which gently improves each time you return to take a smell from the glass, and gets better with age. Or it could strong and powerful, drowning out your other senses, but rapidly deteriorates with age.

Even with two wines made from the same grape, it could taste completely different coming from two different parts of the world. Like how Chinese women are different in China, Malaysia, Singapore and London - the location and the surroundings matter, so too, does the wine change around the world. I tried a New Zealand Pinot Noir, but it could not match the complexity of the great French Pinot Noirs.

One never forgets the first time he fell in love with wine. For me I remember the exact moment -- in a little town called Beaune in the centre of France in a little shop called Caves des Cordeliers where for 7 euros we got to taste 5 different wines. The smell of the best Burgundy was so incredibly beautiful and overpowering that I was literally moved to tears, and decided there and then that yes, I LOVE this.

It was a defining moment -- in geek terms, it was as if one had changed the resolution on your monitor from 640 x 480 with 256 colours to 1920 x 1200 in 32 bit colour. The gamut of flavours suddenly widened, and what once tasted good to you now tastes ordinary, because you have tasted, or in my case, smelled, perfection.

I told my boss that it was a very enlightening trip, because I came to realise that it is for pleasures like this that I worked hard -- to be able to afford the good stuff. Why settle for mediocrity? And there is so much mediocrity out there.

Homecoming

We had our homecoming performance yesterday which in brief involved lots of waiting. That's fine 'cos we were checking out the various teachers. When we were in school I always thought teachers were some sort of superbeings, but hey some of them are probably younger than I am now.

Circle of Life was a blast. I anyhow blasted my opening line, prayed that it wouldn't crack, and got my prayers answered. How lucky.

VJ seems to be showing its age - 10 years ago I remember its toilets were in spotless condition, but yesterday I saw like stained tiles, and less than ideal conditions. Put it this way: I would probably hesitate a little crapping there.

The crowd also seemed to be rather sedate.

Still, if I never went to VJ I might have been stuck in some uppity RJ crowd.

Lesson 3. Lesson learnt: I suck big time.

Head swelling

Sometimes I'm so clever I impress even myself. And it's like a virtuous cycle - I feel clever and then I become even cleverer. In sports parlance (not that I would know better) you are in "the zone" where you work at your optimum. And today was one of those days.

How gratifying it is to have the other side personally call you to thank you for your brilliant and erudite emails and to tell you, for all of 10 mins on the phone, what a pleasure it is to work with you on the file.

My head is about to burst with pride. It's days like these that I look forward to.

Must. Stop. Farting. In. My. Office. It. Stinks.

Upmarket Peasantry

I'm utterly addicted to Thunder Tea Rice. I just can't get enough of it. I've eaten it for lunch, and I'm going to eat it for dinner again tonight.

I'm so addicted to it that I can now go for days without eating meat. Just thunder tea rice for lunch and dinner. It's so tasty.

Just on Tuesday, we decided to be upmarket about it, and dapao-ed Thunder Tea Rice back to the office, and opened a really tasty bottle of 2005 Chablis 1er Cru. Was a bit sceptical whether the flavours would match, but thought they matched very well. Even more surprisingly, that green soupy conconction also goes very well with a Chablis. Next - to try it with a Sauvignon Blanc.

What irony -- thunder tea rice is meant to be the food of peasants in the old days. To have it with a top class French wine -- surely the makers of TTR would turn in their graves.

My wine habit is turning into an obsession. Each time I drink a bottle, I buy two more, because: "oh that looks interesting I'll have one. Oh what about that? I wonder how different it tastes -- ok I'll take one too. Oh but then now I've got 2 whites and no reds; what if I want something tastier that doesn't need refridgeration? Oh is that nice? Oh ok let's take one of that. Oh but hmmm how does that compare with this one? Ok I'll buy this one as well."

This week alone, I polished off 2 bottles and bought 6 more. At this rate I'm going to run out of space, not to mention money. My credit card statement is going to be simply horrendous -- it was horrendous last month. I don't think I've ever spent so much money in a month. I'm going to need to cut up my cards soon.

It seems I'm being set up this Friday to meet someone in a "non-threatening environment". We are going karaoke-ing!

Think it'll be a drag and I hope not to get drunk. Also, I told them I'm leaving early 'cos I have to get up early on Saturday.

This is not how I imagined my life a-la Californication to turn out. Project Californication seems to be a bit of a failure at the moment.

Wow, my milk in the fridge tastes like durian-flavoured milk! Thanks to the two packets of durian sitting in my fridge.

Yummmm

Although durian flavoured coffee (due to the milk) for breakfast does seem a bit strange.

Maybe I could make a living out of this.

Gluttony

My colleagues and I decided that my car was severely underused; something easily solved by taking a trip to M'sia.

And so we did. Waking up at an ungodly hour of 7.30, I made my way up North to pick up my friend from Balastier, and then the second bunch from Woodlands, promptly getting lost on the way amidst the symmetry of the HDB blocks. It's like a maze.

We thought we got to the checkpoint bright and early (about 8.45 am), but it seems about 2000 other Singaporeans did too.

First order of the day was to get my Roti Canai fix, with char kway teow, wantan soup, wantan noodles and porridge on the side. That's enough to feed me for a day.

We then tried to find our way to Leisure Farm Resort, a housing estate primarily aimed at Singaporeans. There we met an "aunt" of my colleague, who immediately fed us beer despite our (weak) protests.

Then it was straight off to the durian plantation - a drive of some 35 km or so away.

After 10 kgs of durians, some rambutans, langsats, pulasans and mangosteens, we went to have beef noodles, a "light lunch".

Then we decided we needed some coffee and a massage, and drove another 50km to some JB shopping centre, where I got a 2 hour massage. The proper sort.

This was followed by a superb seafood dinner at some ridiculously cheap price.

By the time I got home it was like midnight.

Essentially 13 hours of nothing but eating, seeking out the next place to eat, eating some more, digesting, massage, and getting more to eat.

Oh. and filling cheap petrol.

I am so full i'm going to eat salad for a week.

Singing lessons

My latest pet project has been to start singing lessons. I've wanted to do this for a while, but have always relegated it to the bottom of my list, in part due to the cost involved. But I figure it's not very much money to spend on yourself on something you enjoy. Certainly better than say going for a massage at $100 or blowing $100 on sleazy karaoke.

Today was the second lesson, and I've got a kind enough sucker, uhm, friend, to pick me up for 2-hour sat morning lessons together.

Singing is a very personal thing for me, so it's like entrusting something very personal to someone else's hands. Here's my baby, please take care of it.

The lessons were somewhat of a humbling experience, and I realise that I've got really a lot to learn. I'm struggling with the high notes, while SX bloody soars up there. I feel like kicking him everytime we have to sing a G.

Or I just cheat and use falsetto, let SX cover me, and hope the teacher doesn't notice. URGH.

Still, I guess I'm learning new stuff, which is always good. Compared to the stagnancy in my choral singing, I suppose this is a refreshing turn.

I can't wait for next week's lesson.

I wonder if my French classes will be as exciting.

New Phone

I need a new phone. And I need it now.

I thought it was cool getting a red phone, but it seems not in the business world. I keep getting asked if it is "my phone" - i guess it's not a very "manly" colour.

They're even more surprised that I've also got a red car.

I guess that marks the end of my experiment with red. Honestly I couldn't care what colour these things are; just that when I bought my car the non-business friends said red was cool and would "spice up my life".

I guess I'm not in the right field of work to express creativity.

Now. To dig out my old HTC TouchPro Shit.

I can't wait for November when my contract is up and I'm due for an upgrade.

I need a new phone.

Is it very geeky that I get all excited over the fact that I upgraded the RAM on my iMac to 4 GB?

Strut

My colleague says I'm walking around as if I got raped by some bangla
workers on the way home to joo chiat. I can't help it, my thighs are
killing me.

Heh. Someone said I was a "prime catch" today. It's nice to know that
I'm an appreciating asset at 30. Wonder how long this will last.

I think I'm going to buy a new car at the end of this year. The Getz
doesn't quite suit my desired image. Going to test drive some European
cars this weekend.

Bodypump

My office roomie and I have decided to embark on a path to stud-dom, I guess he being closer to that than I. Nonetheless, as the saying goes, a journey of a thousand li begins with a single step.

And so it was that today we decided to head down to that disgusting gym in Raffles Place called California Fitness to attend Bodypump, whereupon the following things happened:

1. we were both late, thus attracting the attention of the entire class and the instructor, who asked if it was our first time and promptly moved us in front.

2. I use less weights than the ladies beside me (oh, the shame....)

3. I now cannot walk down stairs without assisting myself on the banister

4. I recalled why it was that I stopped going for this class 2 - 3 years ago.

Still, I think it was a decent workout, and both my roomie and I are semi inspired by the fact that he claims NC (who was in the same class as us) has got a 4-pack. Hrm.

I'm going to be absolutely knackered tomorrow. The road to perfection has never been so hard haha. Well, you can't fault me for trying.

Exciting new things

I'm starting voice class next week! I think.

And then there's French class in August.

How fun!

The house

So the maid came today and my house is sparkling clean. It's wonderful, I should've done this earlier. I shall try to reduce on my luxuries eg drinking, to fund my house cleaning.

But then I guess the 2 bottles of wine at $190 isn't helping. Sigh.

Tomorrow morning the aircon service man comes.

After that it's a matter of bloody getting my house finally into order.

Starting with getting rid of that damn dining table and that hideous sofa.

The Sack

I absolutely cannot stand people who take MCs on Mondays and Fridays. Half the time I'm guessing they're not even really sick. If I had it my way I'd say each MC on a Monday or Friday will be counted as half day's leave. However I don't think the regulations are on my side.

And then there are those who complain nonstop when you give them a bit of work, or give a black face. Attitude problem.

If I had it my way, I'd sack each, and, every, one, of them.