Another week comes and passes and I discover the following things:
1. I have voyeurs from IBM on my blog.
2. There are some decent places to eat in Singapore!
3. I really do live in the middle of nowhere!
4. My room is very big.
5. I've been coming to work for 14 days non stop.
All 5 discoveries are boring except no. 2.
Yesterday I gather with a couple of my old choir friends whom I haven't seen for yonks and yonks and yonks. We met at Chomp Chomp which is in the middle of nowhere as well, but had a GREAT time stuffing my face. Let's go through my menu:
1. Chwee Kueh. A big pile of it.
2. Rojak.
3. Satay
4. Stingray
5. Sugar Cane the size of which would rival the big beer mugs in Germany. But it was quite diluted so it wasn't very good.
6. Carrot Cake in 2 styles
7. Porridge
8. BBQ chicken wings
9. Bean Curd
I'm sure I ate other stuff but I can't recall. Anyway all of it was good.
After dinner I could barely move. We popped over to my friend's place in Ang Mo Kio and sang our old Christmas Carols until 12.30 am in the morning. We had 2 basses, me, 3 altos and no sops so Mr. ahem..N Chua doubled up as the descant. It was quite horrible hahahahahhaha. I tried too but that sounded even worse haha. Ok let's stick with tenor yah? So that was a rather fun night out.
What else? My parents are back from visiting my sister in UK. They met with an accident 'cos some punks were driving too fast and rammed them from behind. All my parents suffered was a broken back light and some scratches to the body of the car, but the other car flipped and turned turtle. Think my dad took a picture and I can't wait to see it and post it up. How exciting! must buy 4D.
I guess it was quite fortunate since my parents were driving a cheap compact car - Fiat Punto (what to do? we poor mar....still living in jungles in Malaysia).
I'm also trying to recall more funny childhood stories at the insistence of this insistent cow from IBM who tries to pass off as Lara Croft in Cambodia but ain't got the uhm....assets....for it...
I think I've mentioned the phuq-er phuq-er story, and I-WANT-TO-EAT-FRIED-EGG-STORY, and the I'll-pee-wherever-it's-convenient-to-me-thank-you-very-much-you-stupid-ang-moh story.
I'm good at telling stories. Have I ever mentioned I used to win the gold medal for story-telling competitions (in CHINESE) in primary school? Of course, NOW I wouldn't even be able to understand the story let alone tell it since I'm, to quote Harold from the film "Harold and Kumar" a TWINK!!!! *sobs*...
Maybe today I shall mention how I bribed my teachers in school in England with Fried Rice. Ang mohs suck at cooking rice. Most of my friends in Leeds used to think rice is disgusting. This was 10 years ago so maybe they're more metropolitan now. Their idea of rice is this sticky and gooey concoction which is more like very thick porridge. It's gross.
So on Christmas parties and all my mum would cook Fried rice, being the simplest of all to bring. And my teachers would all go gaga over it - don't think they ate much Chinese food there. I was the only chinese in school after all. So I used to bribe them for better grades by passing them a pot of Fried Rice now and then. I think it's like gold to them. All they ever eat the whole day long is Fish and Chips, Sausage and Chips, pudding, custard and all that crap.
Ok this isn't a very funny story. I'm in the office on a Sunday, what do you expect. And all this talk of food makes me hungry.
Sunday, October 31, 2004
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Feeling Stupid
That's how I'm feeling right now after speaking to some ang mohs. ARGH I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!!!!!
Monday, October 25, 2004
Night of Blunders
Blunder No. 1:
Colleague: "Is it me or did you gain weight recently?"
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!
Blunder No. 2:
My belt did not go through the whole of my pants. I missed one belt holder. I didn't realise it. Worse thing is after a friend pointed it out, my roommate said: "Isn't it always like that? I thought he just wanted it to be like that"
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM MAJORLY EMBARRASSED.
Colleague: "Is it me or did you gain weight recently?"
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!
Blunder No. 2:
My belt did not go through the whole of my pants. I missed one belt holder. I didn't realise it. Worse thing is after a friend pointed it out, my roommate said: "Isn't it always like that? I thought he just wanted it to be like that"
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM MAJORLY EMBARRASSED.
Sunday, October 24, 2004
My New Name
You may all start calling me with my new name - "Fatass". Thought I'd be hardworking today and pop by the gym before indulging in my favourite pasttime again - i.e. work, which is where I am right now. There's a weighing machine there and I went on it and since I don't think it's lying, the only conclusion is that now I'm *really* rolling around the streets of Shenton Way.
Now Fat Kiat is in good company though I have no idea why he's bloody whining about being fat when he's surrounded by obese tenors. Side point: did you know that the name Obelix comes from Obese? I wonder where Asterix came from?
Effective immediately, I am to STOP EATING DESSERTS at Lau Pa Sat after dinner. And no more COOKIES from the pantry at work. And those jogging shoes had better see more wear.
My weekend was a bore. Everyone's having exams. Those who are not having exams, shall we do something next weekend? Let's go for a mooo-vie. Alternatively maybe I should go explore some of Singapore's ... ahem .... sights .... *guffaws*...(what sights?)... someone prove me wrong.
Bimbo Alto no. 2 acted as a dua-ster on Friday and dumped Fat Kiat and me to our own devises. I ended up watching the Manchurian Project which is a complete bore. Silly show. I need to watch something more bimbotic and light hearted.
I feel like buying an Xbox just to play that Xmen Marvel game.
Or maybe I should go get Sims 2 and have an imaginery life. I'd build a house with multiple bedrooms (7) and lock up 1 woman per room (I'll be kind - they can have an attached bathroom) and have amorous relations with one every night.
During the day, the seven of them can clean my house and cook my meals. And mebbe some can rub my aching feet. I wonder how I'm going to pay for all of them.
This is stupid.
Now Fat Kiat is in good company though I have no idea why he's bloody whining about being fat when he's surrounded by obese tenors. Side point: did you know that the name Obelix comes from Obese? I wonder where Asterix came from?
Effective immediately, I am to STOP EATING DESSERTS at Lau Pa Sat after dinner. And no more COOKIES from the pantry at work. And those jogging shoes had better see more wear.
My weekend was a bore. Everyone's having exams. Those who are not having exams, shall we do something next weekend? Let's go for a mooo-vie. Alternatively maybe I should go explore some of Singapore's ... ahem .... sights .... *guffaws*...(what sights?)... someone prove me wrong.
Bimbo Alto no. 2 acted as a dua-ster on Friday and dumped Fat Kiat and me to our own devises. I ended up watching the Manchurian Project which is a complete bore. Silly show. I need to watch something more bimbotic and light hearted.
I feel like buying an Xbox just to play that Xmen Marvel game.
Or maybe I should go get Sims 2 and have an imaginery life. I'd build a house with multiple bedrooms (7) and lock up 1 woman per room (I'll be kind - they can have an attached bathroom) and have amorous relations with one every night.
During the day, the seven of them can clean my house and cook my meals. And mebbe some can rub my aching feet. I wonder how I'm going to pay for all of them.
This is stupid.
Saturday, October 23, 2004
My exciting Saturday
It's now 3.45 on a Saturday afternoon. I'm in the office. I'm feeling a little bit grumpy. Then again, I have nothing better to do so I may as well work. Nelson's in the office as well but he's going for coffee with his friend at 4+ so that hardly counts as working.
I didn't want to stay at home 'cos then I'd have to see the stupid landlady who'll for sure have SOMETHING to say. Today she asks her son to tell me to put my sandals outside. Presumably 'cos it'll dirty the inside. I flat out refused and said: "what if it gets stolen?". Luckily there's another space on the shoe rack so I'll put it there instead.
Soon I'm sure she'll say "After showering, could you wash the toilet please?". Or "After brushing your teeth, could you wash the basin?"
It sucks to live with a cleanliness freak. And I'm no slob myself. She probably uses a toothbrush to clean her toilet. She prints labels to stick on her cups. So some cups belong to Eric, some to Edrick, some to Erica (that's her). I must say these are such *imaginative* names. Of course I think now that I accidentally washed one of her plates with the separate sponge that looks like a dish sponge but was actually supposed to be to wash the basin, she'll probably label that plate as mine as well.
Patience my young padawan...they'll be gone in 3 weeks.
I didn't want to stay at home 'cos then I'd have to see the stupid landlady who'll for sure have SOMETHING to say. Today she asks her son to tell me to put my sandals outside. Presumably 'cos it'll dirty the inside. I flat out refused and said: "what if it gets stolen?". Luckily there's another space on the shoe rack so I'll put it there instead.
Soon I'm sure she'll say "After showering, could you wash the toilet please?". Or "After brushing your teeth, could you wash the basin?"
It sucks to live with a cleanliness freak. And I'm no slob myself. She probably uses a toothbrush to clean her toilet. She prints labels to stick on her cups. So some cups belong to Eric, some to Edrick, some to Erica (that's her). I must say these are such *imaginative* names. Of course I think now that I accidentally washed one of her plates with the separate sponge that looks like a dish sponge but was actually supposed to be to wash the basin, she'll probably label that plate as mine as well.
Patience my young padawan...they'll be gone in 3 weeks.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
ARGH!!!!
My sister's daily dose of mac praising:
"by the way did i tell u i configured the mac mail to
automatically receive my uni mail? that's why i can reply so fast,
because once i get a mail i can see the number pop up on the small icon
on the bottom bar. i think mac is getting cooler and cooler."
YIKES!!!!! STOP!!!!
"by the way did i tell u i configured the mac mail to
automatically receive my uni mail? that's why i can reply so fast,
because once i get a mail i can see the number pop up on the small icon
on the bottom bar. i think mac is getting cooler and cooler."
YIKES!!!!! STOP!!!!
Habitat Award
As I was walking to the MRT station today from my ye olde abode in Tampines, I walked past a fixture/monument of sorts next to the town council which said:
"World Habitat Award" by HRM Princess Margaret.
I can't remember if it was World Habitat Award or Habitat Award. It's this grey looking thing next to KFC.
And I thought to myself: gee...what on earth is that doing here?
It must be an award for squeezing the MOST NUMBER OF PLEBEIANS INTO A SQUARE FOOT OF SPACE. If you were to observe the walking traffic from above, I think it would look no different from a colony of ants.
"World Habitat Award" by HRM Princess Margaret.
I can't remember if it was World Habitat Award or Habitat Award. It's this grey looking thing next to KFC.
And I thought to myself: gee...what on earth is that doing here?
It must be an award for squeezing the MOST NUMBER OF PLEBEIANS INTO A SQUARE FOOT OF SPACE. If you were to observe the walking traffic from above, I think it would look no different from a colony of ants.
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Updates
Ok I've moved into my new place in Tampines which I realise is very very far. And now I have no internet. And I'm itching to blog so I've decided to slaughter my sacred cow (MOooooooooo) and blog at work. SO NO SENSITIVE COMMENTS ABOUT MY WORKPLACE NOW.
First things first. I forgot to shave before work. Now I'm a hairy beast. This is bad.
Second: I got an Armani haircut. Only after I got it I realise I don't like it. So now I'm combing my Armani haircut with a side parting. I hope it doesn't look weird. Anything won't be as weird as Donald Trump's combover though. Nvm. It'll grow back in a month. I'm a hairy beast remember?
Third: I can't wait for my landlady to get lost to Japan. Have I mentioned how I know Tampines is very far? Yesterday I took a cab home after working late (charged to a file of course - clients are going to scream). My cab fare is more than $20 including midnight and booking charge!!!! Now THAT is far! On the bright side, I am getting to read more now - reading this book called Tales of Earthsea by Ursula Le Guin. It's good.
Fourth: my landlady has separate sponges for washing the kitchen basin and for washing the plates. I accidentally used the wrong one and she says that plate that I washed will be mine forever.
Fifth: My sister keeps tempting me with her Mac. I think maybe the secret is to go Mac cold turkey then only you can appreciate it. For now though, my PC works fine and it's cheap so I'll keep with it for a while. Everyday she sends an e-mail updating us on her life in some swanky university in England that begins with O where she is already picking up pompous English terms and it has comments like these:
"u know the cool thing about this mail function thing? i can add all ur names in a group style fashion and ur individual names are in cute light blue tabs.."
Oh Mac thou art an evil temptress! I shall resist thy evil temptations!
I think that's all for now. Yikes. It's 9.15 am.
First things first. I forgot to shave before work. Now I'm a hairy beast. This is bad.
Second: I got an Armani haircut. Only after I got it I realise I don't like it. So now I'm combing my Armani haircut with a side parting. I hope it doesn't look weird. Anything won't be as weird as Donald Trump's combover though. Nvm. It'll grow back in a month. I'm a hairy beast remember?
Third: I can't wait for my landlady to get lost to Japan. Have I mentioned how I know Tampines is very far? Yesterday I took a cab home after working late (charged to a file of course - clients are going to scream). My cab fare is more than $20 including midnight and booking charge!!!! Now THAT is far! On the bright side, I am getting to read more now - reading this book called Tales of Earthsea by Ursula Le Guin. It's good.
Fourth: my landlady has separate sponges for washing the kitchen basin and for washing the plates. I accidentally used the wrong one and she says that plate that I washed will be mine forever.
Fifth: My sister keeps tempting me with her Mac. I think maybe the secret is to go Mac cold turkey then only you can appreciate it. For now though, my PC works fine and it's cheap so I'll keep with it for a while. Everyday she sends an e-mail updating us on her life in some swanky university in England that begins with O where she is already picking up pompous English terms and it has comments like these:
"u know the cool thing about this mail function thing? i can add all ur names in a group style fashion and ur individual names are in cute light blue tabs.."
Oh Mac thou art an evil temptress! I shall resist thy evil temptations!
I think that's all for now. Yikes. It's 9.15 am.
Thursday, October 07, 2004
The irony and injustice
I've just found out that my ANNOYING flatmate has found a flat in Kallang (which is infinitely nearer than Tampines) and is renting a room there for $300+ whereas I'm paying freaking $400 a month. AND he gets the WHOLE place to himself 'cos no one stays there. I hope he rots.
The injustice and irony of it all
I have received news that my ANNOYING flatmate has found a BARGAIN for a place to stay which is in KALLANG which is nearer then TAMPINES to town. Apparently he is paying only $300+, and he gets the WHOLE FLAT TO HIMSELF 'cos he is only renting the room. I would be very pissed if the $300+ includes utilities.
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Awe-inspiring angmohs
What is it about angmohs that make them able to speak so smoothly and inspire confidence in the eyes of the listener? I don't know. It's a skill that I must learn.
Today I call our correspondent in Dubai to discuss one of our files - he's only a trainee, meaning not even a fully qualified professional yet whereas I am (although over in the UK it takes 2 years to qualify whereas here it's 1/2 year). I couldn't help but admire the fluency with which he spoke the language, and how quickly he was able to respond to oral questions. For me, it's a skill I've yet to master - discussion - since I've never been one who liked to discuss stuff - always preferring the written.
Hrmm...it's a skill I've got to learn. And that lovely British accent - it just sounds so clever. Yeah - accents can make you sound smart or stupid. Ask George Bush!!! HAHAHAAAAA.....
So anyway, point to note, thing to learn.
Today I call our correspondent in Dubai to discuss one of our files - he's only a trainee, meaning not even a fully qualified professional yet whereas I am (although over in the UK it takes 2 years to qualify whereas here it's 1/2 year). I couldn't help but admire the fluency with which he spoke the language, and how quickly he was able to respond to oral questions. For me, it's a skill I've yet to master - discussion - since I've never been one who liked to discuss stuff - always preferring the written.
Hrmm...it's a skill I've got to learn. And that lovely British accent - it just sounds so clever. Yeah - accents can make you sound smart or stupid. Ask George Bush!!! HAHAHAAAAA.....
So anyway, point to note, thing to learn.
Sunday, October 03, 2004
Brewerkz Online-The Werkz
Brewerkz Online-The Werkz - I think I HAVE TO MAKE A TRIP down to Brewerkz this week....
More interesting growing up stories
I shall blog about how I came to learn a certain bad word that rhymes with puck.
I am 8 years old. On TV is this great cartoon called M.A.S.K. In MASK there is a vehicle called Piranha (which is a split motorbike/side vehicle kind of thing - go check it out: http://www.weaintcool.com/Articles/mask.htm).
Anyway, from the side vehicle it fires out this circular disk of death thingie. Guess what sound it makes when it fires? It goes:
"pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker..." in varying degrees of pitch.
Replace "p" with the correct consonant and you win Wheeeeeeeeel orrrrrrrf FORTUNE!!!!!! (music in background)
So like the naive boy that I was, my neighbour had this toy, and the next time I went over, we played MASK, and then, when I got my hands on Piranha and shot the weapon, I exclaimed loudly:
"pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker...",
much to the absolute horror of his grandma who was within earshot. Couldn't understand what all the fuss was about until I reached secondary school.
I am 8 years old. On TV is this great cartoon called M.A.S.K. In MASK there is a vehicle called Piranha (which is a split motorbike/side vehicle kind of thing - go check it out: http://www.weaintcool.com/Articles/mask.htm).
Anyway, from the side vehicle it fires out this circular disk of death thingie. Guess what sound it makes when it fires? It goes:
"pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker..." in varying degrees of pitch.
Replace "p" with the correct consonant and you win Wheeeeeeeeel orrrrrrrf FORTUNE!!!!!! (music in background)
So like the naive boy that I was, my neighbour had this toy, and the next time I went over, we played MASK, and then, when I got my hands on Piranha and shot the weapon, I exclaimed loudly:
"pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker-pucker...",
much to the absolute horror of his grandma who was within earshot. Couldn't understand what all the fuss was about until I reached secondary school.
Saturday, October 02, 2004
It's done
I've signed the lease today. For the next year, I will be staying at Block 401 Tampines Street 41. Hopefully it'll work out right. I had thought that only the sister was gonna be staying there and that I could give leery looks and get rid of her thereby having the whole apartment to myself. Unfortunately, I must have misheard 'cos today the sister shows up with her HUSBAND. HUSBAND?!?!?!!! I thought she was young??? Born in 77, she's only 2 years older than me!!!! Then I realised that I'm freaking 25 years old, not 19. At 27, that's a normal age to get married. And hrm...here I am....
Apprehensive about staying with a married couple for 1 year. They won't be staying there full time though so I guess that's good.
As I type this I feel unsettled. Just as I got comfortable with my daily routine now I have to move and uproot myself all over again to some village in the east of Singapore. Men need roots and need a routine. For example, this is what I *need* to do every morning:
1. Wake up
2. Set the kettle to boil
3. Stuff the bread in the toaster
4. Take the newspaper from outside and start reading it
5. When kettle boils and bread is toasted, make breakfast
6. Eat breakfast while reading newspaper.
7. Get ready for work.
When I get to work, I need to:
1. Check e-mail
2. Put on my tie
3. Get my coffee
4. Bum for 15 minutes
5. Start serving out my serfhood.
Now I'm uprooted!!!! =((((
The "Break-Up" with THAT FLATMATE was rather painless. We've settled all our bills and all just now so we're making a "clean break". At least now I'll know my hangers will be safe.
The new place has no internet and I'm wondering whether I should subscribe. I might now. Maybe reclaim some of the time wasted on the Net doing stuff like BLOGGING to do more useful stuff, like GO LEARN GERMAN which I've been wanting to do since coming back from Bremen.
So anyway, next weekend I start moving some stuff in, and I officially move in on October 15. Welcome me to the God-forsaken part of Singapore!
Apprehensive about staying with a married couple for 1 year. They won't be staying there full time though so I guess that's good.
As I type this I feel unsettled. Just as I got comfortable with my daily routine now I have to move and uproot myself all over again to some village in the east of Singapore. Men need roots and need a routine. For example, this is what I *need* to do every morning:
1. Wake up
2. Set the kettle to boil
3. Stuff the bread in the toaster
4. Take the newspaper from outside and start reading it
5. When kettle boils and bread is toasted, make breakfast
6. Eat breakfast while reading newspaper.
7. Get ready for work.
When I get to work, I need to:
1. Check e-mail
2. Put on my tie
3. Get my coffee
4. Bum for 15 minutes
5. Start serving out my serfhood.
Now I'm uprooted!!!! =((((
The "Break-Up" with THAT FLATMATE was rather painless. We've settled all our bills and all just now so we're making a "clean break". At least now I'll know my hangers will be safe.
The new place has no internet and I'm wondering whether I should subscribe. I might now. Maybe reclaim some of the time wasted on the Net doing stuff like BLOGGING to do more useful stuff, like GO LEARN GERMAN which I've been wanting to do since coming back from Bremen.
So anyway, next weekend I start moving some stuff in, and I officially move in on October 15. Welcome me to the God-forsaken part of Singapore!
Friday, October 01, 2004
Things to stop doing
I should STOP DRINKING BEER. Yesterday I drank 1 litre of beer. Today the term Beer Belly came to life while I practically rolled around the office on my round stomach. Tomorrow, I am bloody going to jog.
On another note, tomorrow I sign my lease at Tampines and begin my new life in a strange remote corner of Singapore living alone.
On another note, tomorrow I sign my lease at Tampines and begin my new life in a strange remote corner of Singapore living alone.