Annoyed

I am fugging annoyed because I got dumped files. If I drop dead and die blame it on the company.

Anyway, N Chua remarked yesterday that Anonymous-job sucks all our creativity. D asked us if we would be interested in writing airline reviews. To which I replied that if I did, no one would want to read it. I imagine it would be peppered with phrases like:

"The food was not in order. In my opinion, it is reasonable to think that many passengers would find the food to also not be in order. Subject to the foregoing which, for the avoidance of doubt, reflects this writer's personal opinion and not that of anyone else, the airline was satisfactory."

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Thought the following was funny on how people in my Anonymous-line write:

Version 1
I want to eat burgers with you.

Version 2
I want to eat burgers with you. For the avoidance of doubt, the foregoing shall not be construed to mean that I want to eat a burger that has you in, on or under it.

Version 3
I want to eat burgers with you. For the avoidance of doubt, the immediately preceding sentence shall not be construed to mean that I want to eat a burger that has you (or any part of you) in, on or under it.

Version 4
I want to eat burgers with you. For the avoidance of doubt, the immediately preceding sentence.;

(1) shall not be construed to mean that I want to eat a burger that has you (or any part of you) in, on or under it; and

(ii) shall be construed only to mean that I want you to eat a burger and me to eat a burger at the same time and in the same place.

Version 5
I want to eat burgers with you. For the avoidance of doubt, the immediately preceding sentence:

(i) shall not be construed to mean that I want to eat a burger that has you (or any part of you) in, on or under it; and

(ii) shall be construed to mean only that I want you to eat a burger and I want me to eat a burger at the same time and in the same place.

For the purposes of the immediately preceding paragraph, with respect to the consumption of one or more burgers (if any) by a person (for the purposes of this paragraph, the "first person") and another person (for the purposes of this paragraph, the "second person"):

(a) "at the same time" means the consumption of the first person's burger by the first person at approximately the same time as the consumption of the second person's burger by the second person; and

(b) "in the same place" means to the geographic location at which suchburgers are consumed and does not, for the avoidance of doubt, refer to any part of any burger.

Final Version:
I want to eat burgers with you (the "Original Sentence"). For the avoidance of doubt, the Original Sentence:

(i) shall not be construed to mean that I want to eat a burger that has you (or any part of you) in, on or under it; and

(ii) shall be construed only to mean only that I want you to eat a burger and I want me to eat a burger at the same time and in the same place.

For the purposes of the immediately preceding paragraph, with respect to the consumption of one or more burgers (if any) by a person (for the purposes of this paragraph, the "first person") and another person (for the purposes of this paragraph, the "second person"):

(a) "at the same time" means the consumption of the first person's burger by the first person at approximately the same time as the consumption of the second person's burger by the second person (provided, for the avoidance of doubt, that the "first person's burger" means the burger (whether made of beef, chicken, lamb or the fleshof any other animal) owned by that person and not a burger made from the flesh of that person and the same shall apply to the "second person's burger", mutatis mutandis and provided further that "at approximately the same time" means that (1) the first person commences the consumption of the first person's burger within 10 minutes ofthe commencement of consumption of the second person's burger by the second person and (2) the first person finishes consuming the first person's burger (or notifiesthe second person, in a notice in writing which is signed by the first person, that the first person has determined that it will not finish the consumption of said first person's burger) within 10 minutes of either (A) the completion of consumption of the second person's burger by the second person or (B) the delivery of a notice in writing (signed by the second person) by the second person to the first person which states that thesecond person has determined that it will not finish the consumption of said second person's burger); and

(b) "in the same place" means the first person shall consume the first person's burger whilst seated at a table (the "Table") and the second person shall consume the second person's burger whilst seated at the Table.

For the avoidance of doubt, nothing in the Original Sentence (or any paragraph referring thereto) shall be construed to refer to the consumption of human flesh by any person or express the desire on the part of any person to do the same.

*SOBS*

Tea Lady: "Ni zhui jin hao xiang fei le yi dian hor?"

SOBSSssssssssss......

Ok I need to go running. Went running yesterday after a 2 month hiatus and could barely get my ass moving. And then went on the scales after a 2 month hiatus and.....*gulp*.....I am a fat ass....

New Year Ramblings

Called up my secondary school friend today - he's working in Penang but came back for CNY. I think we haven't seen each other for a couple of years - not since his brother got married. We're supposed to meet up together with some other secondary school friends this weekend.
In the meantime, we managed to "catch up" in like, 4 minutes over the phone. I thought it's remarkable how fast guys catch up and how short (but succinct) their telephone conversations are. It more or less went like this:
phone rings: *brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiinnnnnnngggg*
mom picks up and calls me. I grumble and wake up and go to the phone.
me: *growl.....*hello?
friend: sleeping ah
me: oh...yah....
friend: what you doing tonight?
me: oh. going melaka but coming back on Saturday
friend: oh i see. ok, maybe we can all meet up on saturday or sunday then instead of today.
me: yeah. where were you last night? tried to call
friend: oh. at my girlfriend's place
me: oh ok ('nuff said). you're not getting married anytime soon are you?
friend: oh..yeah..probably at the end of the year.
me: oh really? cool. must invite me you know
friend: of course!
me: how's work and how's penang?
friend: pretty cool. running around. quite busy.
me: you bought a car?
friend: yup. proton Gen 2.
me: (shit...) oh yeah? cool. where you staying now?
friend: rented place.
me: how much's the rent?
friend: oh. about RM 700. It's a bit more than what I want to pay though.
me: what kind of place is it?
friend: oh. an apartment. 3 bedroom penthouse.
me: (thinking WTFFFFFFFF I'm paying S$400 for a bloody bedroom in some village in the east of Singapore) That's not bad what!! oh but I see, you don't really need such a big place.
friend: yeah.
me: oklah. so I'll call you again on saturday or sunday lah. you managed to contact k y?
friend: i'll call him later.
me: ok. seeya!
friend: ciao
And that was that. Easy huh?

WHY do women DO this????

WHY WHY WHY do women INSIST on wearing plunging v-neck tops that end exactly where their cleavage begins and then try to pull up the top when you're talking to them as if to cover the cleavage somewhat, and, maybe, as if to prevent you from staring???? I don't get it. The v-neck NATURALLY draws your gaze to the point of convergence and I feel like I'm talking to her boobs and it's not that I *WANT* to, it's just that the lines draw my attention to them. And now I feel like a bloody pervert because at lunch I think I'm talking to her boobs 50% of the time and I have to consciously tell myself:

"ok, ok, talk to the FACE. talk to the FACE. do NOT look down. do NOT look DOWN."

and then every 5 mins I'll forget and my gaze will wander and then it affixes itself on the lines, down, down, down, and ARGH it's THERE AGAIN!!!!

GEEZ. I think women should ALL wear the muslim outfit which covers the whole body. Or, if not, could you PLEASE wear a shawl?

I am NOT a pervert!!!!!

Anyway, side point is that I'm annoyed with the money changer 'cos they have no RINGGIT. HOW am I supposed to give angpows to my parents, grandparents and aunties now?!?!?!?!?!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Will have to find some way tonight. Maybe transfer some money into my M'sian account. Bleah.

It's freezing in my office

Yes I'm here trying to clear up work before CNY when I take 1 week off....for some strange reason the aircon is on and it's freezing....

Went to Chomp Chomp last night with fellow fatass F L and we stuffed our faces. Slurp...egg beancurd...yum....then we went to watch Fighter in the Wind...show is so so but the girl is extremely chio and subservient. Everyone should be like that. (PS THAT MEANS YOU BIMBO ALTO 2!!!!)

F L says going to Egypt is a bit expensive and so I think we're going back to Hong Kong after all. Again, to stuff our faces. I hope S T goes. The more the merrier.

I suspect "Friend" of the previous post is going to kill me for posting that. I think I better delete the post. Buahahahhahahaha I thought it was funny though.

Weird Dreams

Very very weird.

I'm having breakfast with one of the chorale girls. She mentions she LOVES champagne with segments of fruit (????) inside. Ok fine I have no champagne. too bad.

Next scene: it appears we're in N Chua's house. He serves breakfast. Breakfast is crap. It's like tomatoes, and salad and other inedibles that cows graze on.

NEXT scene: SKUNK appears - and suddenly there's a big bowl of pasta with loads of sauce, and skunk is merrily shovelling pasta onto his plate and stuffing his face.

In an unrelated dream but happening on the same night, I'm with one of those Nip Tuck patients - the one that became a porn star and made rubber blow up dolls. For some reason or other, cellophane tape appears on the scene (???? to seal the rubber dolls???).

Ok that's all I remember. Late for work this morning again. Saw very senior boss in my dept walking to another meeting while I'm munching on my peanut pancake. Oops.

I am Bored and sleepy.

Yah. Bored and sleepy. Tired. Want to go home.